The Gaithers in Toronto!

What an amazing night! Tonight, the Gaithers and all their Homecoming Friends visited Toronto - not simply for a concert - but for a live taping of a concert for their next Homecoming video! And, I had ninth row tickets!

I've seen their concerts before in this venue, the Air Canada Centre, so I did have some expectations. And I knew from my "chat" with Bill a few weeks ago that the concert would be staged in the round. I wondered how this would play on screen, because there is essentially no backdrop for the performers. They are surrounded by audience. There were four giant screens on which the audience could watch the show, and even that looked really good. They did lots of stuff with lighting the audience and the stage to give some great images. I think it will be a very different video, but interesting none the less.

So, tonight obeyed the first rule of shooting : Be prepared for long hours! Tonight's concert was six hours long. Six hours! In folding chairs! Like an indoor music festival. Just crazy. I really enjoyed it all, but that's cause I'm a Southern gospel junkie. You could tell it was just too long for a lot of people. Especially because a fair bit of the audience was, well, not so young. The energy of the crowd started to wane around Hour 5, but Bill is such an expert at programming and just making things run so smoothly. There was only one time they had to stop and start again. Amazing given the number of performers and songs on stage.

And, oh, the performers! Everyone was there. Seriously, it was all of your Homecoming friends. Bill was MC and sang with the GVB. The new GVB with Wes. What a great sound they have. It's easy to see why Bill is so excited about the new project. And they did a song featuring Marshall. It would be nice to hear him do a solo song some time. What a rich clear voice. Guy sang Why Me Lord. Very moving.

I'd never heard the Booth Brothers before, but their reputation preceded them. Now I know what all the fuss is about. Great harmony, but here is where I must say my only real complaint of the night - the sound was terrible! Balance was off, and words were muffled. I'm sure that will be cleaned up for video, but my $60 ticket really wanted good sound quality. The reason it comes up for the Booth Brothers is cause they sang with the band and were great, but then they sang acapella, and it was then that we could really hear the beauty of their voices. They did an awesome song with the hook, "Ask the blind man, he saw it all". Isn't that fabulous? I wish I'd found that!

The very pregnant Easters were wonderful, especially on the acapella Rivers of Babylon. Ivan Parker blew everyone away with I Can Only Imagine. Reggie and Lady Love Smith got a well deserved standing ovation with You Raise Me Up. Ben Speer, my new buddy, was awesome on Sheltered in the Arms. I love this song so much, and he delivers it with such simplicity. Joy Gardner took the roof off the place everytime she stepped up to sing. Linda Randle sang a few songs. It was warm and rich and inspiring everytime. Jesse Dixon started on the piano. Not shouting and dancing, just playing and humming. He sang Make Me a Sanctuary. So soulful. So awesome. After that, he sang another song and broke out his dancing shoes. The crowd loved him before he even touched the stage. But he kept the focus on God. He's like a rock star when he's up there, and yet his intention towards God is so clear. Russ Taff has that kind of energy too. He did a Gaithers song with the Isaacs. Such a great combination of all their talents. The Hoppers did several songs, including Jerusalem. I think my mom has become a Hoppers' fan. Good choice.

Stephen Hill did a solo and was wonderful. I had the chance to talk to him after the show and he remembered me from school. Such a great and supportive guy. I tried to find Ben to talk to him, but I could never find him. I did manage to catch his attention at intermission and we waved. I did, however, get to see and chat with Mike Allen. I really wish he'd been able to do a full solo. But we had a great little chat, and I gave him a copy of my cd.

Larry Ford did some great songs, including a hymn written by a woman from Ontario. Boni wrote down the name of it, so I imagine it will show up soon in choir.

I have to admit, there were a lot of newer songs in the program. We were expecting that, because of the taping, but it does mean that I don't remember all the names of the songs.

There was a lot of audience singing, as usual, and it was really great. It was like everyone did a warm-up before coming to the show. Voices were strong, and in our section, several people were singing harmony. So beautiful, especially in those parts where Bill just got the audience to repeat a chorus acapella. Thousands of people praising God in a sports arena. What a blessing!

Tonight, I got to see Mark Lowry live, and he was wonderful. He sang the title track from Some Things Never Change, and that was great to hear, and he did his comedy thing with Bill. I must say, though, he sort of disappeared after the first half. I mean, he was there and all, just not up in a solo position.

And my favorite part was finally getting to see Gloria. This is my third Gaither concert and my first Gloria sighting. She did two beautiful recitations. I could just listen to her speak all day. I have this dream of sitting down for an afternoon with her and chatting about words and songs and other good stuff.

And I have a new favorite group: Ernie Haase and signature Sound. I'd heard little bits of their music, but, oh my!, nothing beats them in person. If you haven't seen or heard them yet, then I highly recommend you do a little research and find a cd or a video or something. Their songs and arrangements are great, and each piece highlights the great voices in the group. And their stage presence is incredible. Seriously - incredible! They are all over the stage, and are having a great time. They do small bits of choreography, which I've heard the purists hate, but I thought it was imaginative and fun. I guess that's my music theatre side shining through. I bought their cd. I'm going to listen to it and dance around!

I'm a great lover of the Isaacs, and they did not disappoint. They did lots of great stuff, including a tight arrangement of It Is Well. It started with two fiddles in close harmony, then the solo voice, then harmony voices. After the first verse, the fiddles dropped out, and it was just voices, ending on incredible harmonies. I'm sure it will be a highlight of the video. They also did Your's and Mine, which is a great song of their's. Bought yet another of their cds.

The first part of the concert was mostly solos, and then they did the group "homecoming" thing in the second half. Apparently, this will be the opening of the show. It's going to be really interesting to see how they cut it and what makes it into the final versions. I believe there will be two videos made from tonight's show.

One of the interesting technical things came from the teleprompters. Most of the lyrics were posted there, and we had a clear view from our seats. But something got messed up in the second half, and they often had the wrong lyrics up. You'd see our Homecoming Friends with very confused expressions and microphones, not singing. Pretty sure that won't make the video.

My respect for Bill Gaither rose, yet again, tonight. It was such a huge program with amazingly complicated technical requirements, artistic challenges, and huge logistics. And still, it was spiritual. God was in that place. It was beautiful and awesome. And I did everything I knew I would do tonight - I laughed, I cried, I sang, and I felt the presence of God.

And, of course, I had to take a minute while I was there to raise a prayer of thanks. God's plan for me is being revealed on a daily basis, and I am so excited by it. Tonight, I got to watch SG artists at the top of their game. It was inspiring and awesome. I just want the things I do to be so good, in music and in spirituality.

And again, I say, "Yes, Lord".

ALPHA - Week One

I am taking Alpha, and tonight was our first night!

What is Alpha? No, it is not a sorority. (Gerald told me not to get a "hazing". Funny boy!) It's a course on Christianity, and it's designed for life-long Christians and for those who have never even stepped into a church. Most people I know have taken it and loved it, but I was never able to commit before. Well, it just seems like the perfect time to do it. I'm hoping to deepen my own understanding of my experience of being Christian, but I also want to open myself to new knowledge and opinions.

It's a ten week course, meeting once a week. We start with a meal, to build community. Then there is a 45 minute video, by former-lawyer-turned-preacher Nicky Gumbel. We then open the floor up to discussion, lead by one of several group leaders. In a larger group, we would break into little clusters for discussion. But there's only 15 of us, so the discussions will stay in the group as a whole. I like that. I think it may lead to a tighter group. We are all given a workbook which gives us optional work to do at home.

Tonight's lesson was "Who is Jesus?". The video started with historical evidence of Jesus, and talked about something called "textual criticism". This is a way that historians can determine the reliability of a piece of historical writing. It's based on when it was written, when the first copy was discovered, and how many copies exist. By this analysis, the Bible actually stands up pretty firmly as a historical document, meaning that we can look at info in it as fact and not simply myth. So, if we follow this, what can we determine about Jesus and his life?

Nicky then offers lots of evidence towards the concept of Jesus as God. And he bases it on the opening lines of the Gospel of John. Way too much info to get into here, but needless to say, it lead to a lot of discussion. It's amazing how much we all have in common - our questions, our doubts, the things we want to discover about God.

Our leader asked a great question: If you met Jesus, what would you ask him? Note: not God - Jesus. My question ended up being: Why did you even bother to come at all? What was the point? Obviously, too big a question to answer in one night. There are lots of things to answer quickly - I came to save the world from sin. I came to live with you on earth. I came to provide an example of how to live a Godly life. But really, does that answer WHY Jesus had to come at all? Didn't God think He was doing a good enough job on His own? He had appeared in many forms before - burning bush, clouds, etc. Why a human being? And why then? And why there? So much to consider. How am I going to cover all this in 10 weeks?

Alpha has become a world-wide phenomenon, bridging languages and denominations. Tonight, it has put my brain into a spin. I think I'm in for quite a journey.

One more interesting thing from today:

I've started mailing out copies of I Am Waiting Here For You. I've sent 2 copies to music people in Nashville. Those envelopes are smothered in prayer!

Prayers for music.

It's late and I'm teaching in the morning, but I guess I just want to throw a little prayer into the air.

I've finished harmonizing and editing Welcome to Bethlehem. It's been written out over two pages, like a convention song. And I've added a few new touches to the harmonies. Today, I filled out an application and submitted it into a Christmas carol writing contest. It's a choral contest, and I think my song will be unique in the competition. But we always know that unique doesn't always win.

My goal is simply to expose the song to more people and more musicians. But of course, the greatest exposure will come with a prize. So here's the Christian dilemma - Is is wrong to pray for a win?

Some will say that Christ wants us to have a successful life. Some will argue for modesty and humility. Some will say that if God is in this song, it will get out to people regardless of a win or a loss.

I guess, I'm just saying a prayer of thanks for the song itself. And a prayer that lots of people can hear it.

Okay..... But I'll be completely honest: It would be sooo exciting to win!

A new demo!

It's very late, but we've had a great day. Leo came over tonight for a time of wine and music. We introduced him to Eva Cassidy. What a gift she was to all of us! I remember when Gerald first played her music for me. Everytime I was upset after that, all I wanted was to hear Fields of Gold. How can a voice be so pretty and so raw, all at the same time?

Today was a great music day for me. Brent Setterington and I finally recorded the demo for I Am Waiting Here For You. That's the song I wrote at Stamps-Baxter. Brent is an awesome producer who mostly does pop, but he's also a Christian with a great interest in gospel music. He was also the producer for my first cd. ("first" implies, of course, that there will be a second!)Daryl Williams and I did a rough demo when I was at school, but I wanted something solid I can put on my site and send to other artists. I definitely want to sing it myself, but I'd love for someone else to record it. I think I have my dream list of artists I'd like to record it - Allison Durham Speer, Gaither Vocal Band, Josh Groban, Karen Peck, to name a few.

I wanted to wait for Brent to come back from England, and it was worth the wait. When I thought about who I wanted to play piano and record the demo, Brent was my first choice, and I was right. His playing is a perfect marriage with the song. We spent several hours working on the arrangement. I wanted to keep the simplicity of the arrangement Daryl played, but I also wanted Brent to add his own creativity. He really likes the song, which is so thrilling! Very few people have heard this one yet, but the reaction has been really good. I really feel that this song was a gift from God, so I hope I can get it out to lots of people. I feel like that's my responsibility with it.

After working out the arrangement, we did three takes. We recorded together, but on separate tracks to allow for some edits. I was really happy with the third take, so we used that one, with just a few little edits. Brent had some great things to say about my voice and how it's growing. I'm also feeling much more confident in the studio, and that's showing too. So good to know that my work is showing results!

The demo is now done and I'm really pleased with it. It really is a songwriter's demo - very simple, just voice and piano, no fancy effects - It's a good performance, and it shows the song really well. So exciting!

Now, the next challenge: To get it out there...

Hearing my song.

I brought Welcome to Bethlehem to the church choir today.

First of all, how awesome to be back singing with the choir! It was great to worship with the church and with that great music I love so much. Of course, since it was our first Sunday together in months, there were a few 'hiccups'. But all disasters were avoided, and the service was very inspiring.

At the end of rehearsal, I gave out copies of the SATB arrangement of Welcome to Bethlehem. I was so nervous for everyone to sing it! I don't know why, exactly. I guess I just wanted it to sound good and also for it to be easy to sing for everyone. Just a little back-stage-fright, I guess. But my fears were wasted. (Isn't fear usually wasted?) It works! Again, it's not incredibly intricate harmonies or anything like that. But it is good, solid SATB harmonies that work well and sound good. And I like the way the song sounds too. It's definitely an ensemble song and not a solo.

My next job is to learn how to edit it. I had the bars too close together, and with all the eighth notes and wordy text, it was a little hard to read.

Oh, and I have a new tune. I think it's going to be a lullaby. The words haven't come yet, but I think that's where it's going.

Music all the days.

I'm wishing I'd gotten to a computer to blog earlier than this. So much has been happening over the past few days, and I'm just hoping I can remember it all now.

It's sooo awesome to have Gerald home! For the obvious we're-in-love-and-planning-a-wedding reasons, but for artsy reasons as well.

My last entry mentioned that I stayed up and wrote one and a half songs:

GOD IS THERE
I decided to read the half-lyric to Gerald to get his opinion. I really thought it needed tonnes of in-depth research and study to make it emotional and poetic. Well, I think I was wrong. I started at the beginning (sing - a very good place to start!) and by the second verse, Gerald had his guitar in his hands. He started playing a few chords. I didn't have a tune written, but I knew the feel I wanted, and he was playing it! He started to sing the words. The tune fell in easily, and soon, we were singing the song! When we hit the third verse, we found 2 lines that needed to be re-written. I went away and did that, but otherwise, the song is exactly as it came out on that first night. See? How can you say songs are not a gift from God? I'm not that good. I couldn't just write something that instantly connects with people were it not for the Master Creator.

So, as we started to play with the tune and finding the correct key, something became really clear. This is not a song for me to sing! "What?", says my Inner Diva. "Every song is for me to sing!" Yes, but apparently not this one. As Ger sang it, his soul opened up. He found phrasing and nuance I couldn't even imagine. Every other song we've co-written has been for me to sing, but not this one. This one is his, and I couldn't be happier about it. Seriously. Even my Inner Diva is smiling. And I can actually hear lots of people singing this song. Gospel singers for sure, but country singers and folk singers and pop singers too. I think it approaches God in a universal, non-denominational way. And I don't mean that watered-down God we like to present to the masses. This is a God who cares and offers love and hope in the darkest conditions. We're recording a demo and will post it on my site as soon as it's done. I think this is a song that needs to be heard.

Funny - now that Gerald is the vocalist on the song, I feel just separated enough that I can jump on the bandwagon and yell, "Hey, come listen to this!"

WELCOME TO BETHLEHEM
The Christmas carol provided its own struggles for the week. First, I arranged the entire song in four part harmony - SATB. This is the first time I have done this since leaving school - sans supervision! It was a little nerve-wracking at times. I would write it, play it, screw-up my face, and rewrite it. In the end, I think it's okay. I can't say it's truly inspired harmony, but I think it's solid and workable.

I was going to bring it to choir rehearsal Thursday, but I left it at home! Arg! I'm bringing it tomorrow. I don't know if the choir would ever want to sing it. If so, big yay! But tomorrow, I'm simply asking them to be my test choir so I can hear what it sounds like and make any appropriate changes.

I'm also going to enter the Amadeus Christmas Carol contest. I may enter Welcome, or I may write a new tune for Joseph's Carol. They insist on new music, but not necessarily new words. Joseph's Carol is set to Faith of our Fathers, but I think the words are strong enough to warrant a new tune. But, I also came up with a new tune tonight that I think could be a unison lullaby? We'll see...

Oh, and I just found out about a new singers workshop Daywind is offering in October. How much would I love to go to that? It's probably just too cost prohibitive. Perhaps our next house should not be in the Beaches after all...

A writing night.

The adventures in writing continue...

I stayed up very late last night and ended up writing almost two songs. The first song is the "almost". The bulk of it is done, but I want to go over it with a rhyming dictionary to make the images deeper and the text less obvious. It's inspired by my Dad's sermon yesterday. When he started to write his sermon, he was inspired by the hymn, "We are a race of travelers". He wanted to say how God is with us as we travel the world and life. But then Katrina hit, and how does that not find it's way into a sermon? We're all thinking about it, and, in simplest terms, travel is affected. But what about the awful traveling of people from hotel roof-tops into helicopters? What about the traveling of family members who are escaping the area to go to their homes in other states and countries? And, of course, what of the journeys ahead of those who have lost their jobs, their homes, their towns, their families? What "travels" are ahead of them? Dad talked about the Bible passage that tells us not to worry about clothes and food. God dresses the lilies of the field, and His eye in on the sparrow, so of course He's watching us. But when those families were sitting in those horrid sports domes, surrounded by garbage and violence, unsure of what tomorrow would hold, do you really think they cared about the lilies and sparrows? It would be a hard Bible verse to hear in that moment. And, yet, that was Dad's point. Sometimes, a Bible verse may not be what we want to hear, but we should try to keep it in front of us at all times - to know that God is always with us - to know that even when we are surrounded in darkness and racked with fear - God is there. We may not see Him. We may not feel Him. We may not even believe in Him. But God is there. God is always there.

How awesome is that?

So, that's the start of one song.

The second song is really exciting for me as I believe I have written my first real Southern Gospel song! It's a Christmas song called, "Welcome to Bethlehem". Rhythmically, it feels like a convention song, but I can't say that it's one for sure. But I absolutely hear it with quartet harmony. Sooo exciting! I didn't start out to write a Southern Gospel song, but I guess God was in my pen last night. I'm going to arrange it in four parts myself ( I'm so proud to be able to say that! ) and bring it to my choir rehearsal on Thursday. They'll be my "test group" - not just to see if they like it, but to see if my harmonies work out as well!

Oh, and it's pretty sure now - I'm going to attend the Write for Jesus conference. Very excited!

Just news.

Well, I heard back from the audition, and I didn't get the part. I'm guessing they either cast older, or they cast someone they knew. Or both. It's just frustrating cause it's been so long since I did a play. Gerald and I did his play in Stratford last Christmas, which was awesome, but it was only one performance, which isn't really a satisfying run.

Of course, when a door closes...

After hearing the results of the audition, I checked my email. I've been offered a very interesting gig in October, and I've booked another church service for December.

This is all good.

An awkward day...

I have a warning for all my starving artist friends: You know how you think you're saving money by skipping those appointments with the dentist? Well, I'm here to tell you - You're wrong!

I had my first dental visit in years last week. I knew I should go, but money is always tight, and voice lessons and plane tickets are much sexier than fluoride treatments. I started to feel a little ache in my mouth, so I counted my pennies and went to the dentist. Remember how I thought I was saving money...

Today I had to go for my follow up appointment. My years of dental self-care was not as effective as one might think. My entire mouth was deadened to solve the problem of mini-cavities in my teeth. Everything hurt, and I couldn't drink water without drooling all day. And the price tag? Today plus last week was a 4-DIGIT-TOTAL! Over a thousand dollars in dental work, and that's for "nothing major". Eep!!!

Tonight, we're thankful for my awesome dentist, Dr. Tonisson, who understands the plight of the starving artist, and gave me a generous discount on my bill. Yes, "gave", as in, I didn't have to beg or cry.

The freezing lasted all day, which wouldn't have mattered if it hadn't been for my audition tonight. I tried doing vocal warm-ups, but I couldn't make an "oh" or an "oo". I felt like the Elephant Man. (My goodness, that sounds like a nasty comparison, but remember the way his mouth was shaped? It felt like that.) I took lots of painkillers and drank cold water til I could feel some movement in my face. I was really worried about having the dentist and the audition on the same day, but Gerald said, "You'll make it work". I don't really know what he meant by that, but nevertheless, I got through it.

I think the audition went well. I sang, "It's Unbelievable" by Jack Clark, and did a cold reading.
It's out of my hands now. I'll hear the results in a few days.

Yes, Lord.

Me and Bill - together again!

So, tonight just had a little silliness. Gaithernet (the Gaither fan club site) just had an on-line chat for its members with Bill Gaither. So me and Bill and 100 other people just chatted on-line. Very fun. I've never done a chat room before. Can't say I was really impressed. The main chat was moderated so that Bill could choose his questions, but before that, it was a free-for-all. I have no idea how you're supposed to keep track of who you're talking to?

I submitted about 20 questions - again, a reason why Mr. Gaither must have a moderator for the chat: to control crazy fans like myself. He answered two. "Will you be doing a Danny Gaither tribute project?" He's doing a project to honour many lost gospel heroes, and Danny is one of them. "Will the Toronto concert be staged in the round?" Yes! Wow. I wasn't expecting that. How on earth will they shoot it? What an undertaking! Someone asked why they do their shows in the round? He answered, "So more people can sit in the front rows." Brilliant.

Lots of dumb questions were asked. I know we're always told, "There are no dumb questions", but sometimes... For example, one person asked, "Where can I buy your book?" Hello! You have a brilliant writer and producer in front of you! Ask him about his life and his craft. You can Google the book! Anyhoo, all my snobby frustrations aside, it was a pretty cool event.

Several people were asking about adding performers to the Homecoming gang. But as Bill pointed out, every time they add a performer, they have to eliminate another one. Guess that means I won't be sitting on the stage any time soon. Unless I can find some one to lock in the bathroom before show-time. Just kidding! (sort of!)

He also mentioned the reason why he does all this: I am driven by the Message. Awesome. What more do we need?

A new experience - An old belief.

Earlier this year, I attended my first Jewish funeral. Today, we attended the unveiling of the headstone. I'd never even heard of this tradition, but apparently it's a common practice in Jewish tradition.

Visiting the cemetery, the first thing I noticed was all the rocks on the headstones. When you visit a grave, it is customary to leave a rock on the stone as a sign of your visit, so every headstone in the cemetery had piles of little stones heaped on top of them. I also noticed that there were no flowers on any of the graves. I know in Christian cemeteries, we're all about the flowers. I don't know if there is no Jewish tradition for flowers at the grave, or perhaps just this particular cemetery. The headstones had elaborate inscriptions with names in both Hebrew and English. Many stones also contained a description of the person and their accomplishments. At the exit of the cemetery, there was a water fountain that people were visiting on their way out. I think they were washing their hands?, but I wasn't able to find out what this is all about.

When we arrived at the grave, a cloth covered the headstone. The family stood behind the stone while the rabbi said some prayers, again both in Hebrew and in English. Then the family removed the cloth, and walked around to the front of the stone. The deceased was my friend's mother. How hard to watch her and her family today. Their love for their mom was powerful. The inscription on the stone was read aloud. It described her as a great mom, sister, friend, and "Superbubbie". The rabbi spoke a bit about my friend's mom, and then the family read a prayer in Hebrew.

This concluded the formal part of the ceremony. We were all invited to lay a rock on the grave as a sign of our visit. Lots of hugs and tears and catching up flowed through the crowd. The family had laid small toys around the grave to symbolize this Superbubbie's connection to her grandchildren. It was beautiful and moving.

I still don't know how we deal with grief. My own experience was so overwhelming, and I know my family was my life-line. I know that in the long run, this family will be okay, but I also know how difficult days like today can be. They are all in my prayers tonight.

Attending the funeral and today's ceremony really brought something home for me as well: I need to believe in an afterlife. I need to know that I'm going somewhere greater after this world. Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with any aspect of the Jewish faith. I'm actually a strong believer in interfaith worship and study. But the afterlife...

What if there really is no afterlife? What if we get to the other side and there's nothing there? Well, if that's the case, I guess I'll deal with it then. But today, in this world, I need to believe that there is an afterlife. I need - not want, but need - to believe that this world is not the be all and end all. I need to believe that when my soul leaves this place, I will join Steve and Nana and all those gone before me. I need to know that God is waiting for me on the other side. Perhaps, like the critics say, the afterlife is something we make up to comfort ourselves. Perhaps. But isn't life easier with that belief? Isn't death and grieving easier when we know that our loved ones are not simply resting, but they are living! Living in an eternal party with no pain, no tears, no death. Living eternally with God and music and love. How awesome is that?

I will never criticize someone else's spiritual beliefs. I guess this experience just helped to re-confirm my own.

A jazzy day.

Today was great! Esther and I went to the Distillery District to hear George Grosman play, and he invited us to join in!

The Distillery is absolutely my favourite part of Toronto. Actually, it feels nothing like Toronto, and maybe that's why it's so good. Old brick warehouses and cobbled roads. Artists and artisans selling their wares outside. Beautiful galleries and shops open to the public. The lovely and delicious Balzac's cafe. And lots of live music.

George was doing a solo gig on the patio of the Boilerhouse. He asked us yesterday if we would want to join him for a few songs. Definitely. I came prepared with my favourite song - Falling in Love Again - made famous by the gorgeous Marlene Dietrich. George had never played it, but he improvised beautifully. I just love that song! And it's been so long since I've sung it. So great to return to a well-loved song. My voice knew exactly how to wrap around the notes, and the text was deeper than ever. Next we did the Cole Porter classic - I Love Paris. What a great tune. So simple, yet so awesome. We took it uptempo, and it really rocked. We took it all the way through three times. So great. I used to be terrified of jazz. I was always afraid I wouldn't know when to come back in. But I've really worked hard with the big band stuff this year, and it's showing in my confidence. It all felt really great.

Mind you, I'm not a proper jazz singer or a great improviser. And this is not false modesty. I've heard great jazz singers, and I'm just not that. But I do love a great song, and I love the camaraderie of jazz. I love the creativity and the spontaneous songwriting that occurs in its performance.

The rains came, and we headed indoors. There, we joined up with Chris Whitely on horns, and Richard Whiteman on piano- both outstanding players. And they invited us to sing as well! Lucky day! I did a song for Gerald - On the Street Where You Live. He's always wanting me to do that song uptempo and swinging, so that's what I did. I did feel a little nervous - I'm naturally such a ballad singer - but I jumped in and had fun. I'm just hoping my nerves didn't show! But I definitely held my own, and I really had a good time. Since I'm still pretty new to the genre, those are pretty good goals to attain.

It was great to hear Esther too. I'm such a fan of her voice. She's making plans for a cd, and I'm first in line to buy one.

Tonight is more planning stuff. I'm still reworking my website. I'm nagging Hilary with updates and new photos daily. Yesterday was all about putting together my songwriters package for Nashville. It was a lot of work, but now that I have it done, it's ready to go out to lots of people.

And now, to book more gigs!

A good day.

Why do I get so nervous? You'd think at this point, I'd be all cool and relaxed, but I still get that nervous ache every time I take on a new project. I was so scared of the recording today, but everything was fine. Actually, more than fine. It was really great.

We did three songs:
1. My Father's Arms.
2. One Sure Step.
3. The Stable Bare.

Ger played guitar and I sang. All the takes were live, which was great. We were able to play off each other, and really enjoy our chemistry. Pretty much everything was done in one take. On One Sure Step, we did 2 takes and took the second. No edits in anything. Alan did a great job of making it sound warm and natural. I'm really happy with the results. I'm going to add the songs to my site. It's a tedious process - changing my site from being a musical catch-all to being a site representative of a musical ministry. The acting stuff will stay the same, but the music is all changing. I want people to be able to hear my songs on the website so they have a real sense of who I am and what I want to say.

I really never thought I'd write songs. If you'd asked me five years ago, I would have laughed and politely told you that I would never write my own material. I just honestly didn't believe I had any songs in me. But now, I find that to be shockingly wrong, and I'm so excited by the possibilities.

I'm looking into a Christian songwriting conference called Write for Jesus. Looks very exciting. Hopefully, I'll book another commercial to pay for my plane ticket.

Speaking of commercials, I finally saw my Global Television commercial tonight! Quick and funny. That was the gig that bought my ticket to Nashville. An answer to a prayer.

I'm sending my cd off to Nashville in the morning. The prayers have begun...

Singing and studios and stuff...

Lots of prayers being said tonight. We're in the studio tomorrow to record four of my songs. Yes, my songs. Crazy that anyone would take any interest in any thing I've written. But that is the craziness of the artistic life, I suppose. I do things that I think should interest everyone, and only my parents come. Then I do these little songs, and congregations start singing along. Funny how this all works. I try not to think too hard about it. Don't want to make myself dizzy with analyzing the way art works. That's not really important. But sometimes, it's worth standing up, dusting the glitter off your head, and going, "So, this is what's come of all this."

Tomorrow will be me on vocals, Gerald on guitar, and his friend, Alan, who will be our engineer. We'll do four songs, all in live takes. They will be simple and clean. I'll have them put on a disc, and I'll send them off to Nashville. There will also be a copy of IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL, and a red folder with song lyrics, etc, in it. Many prayers will be said over the package, and then it will be thrown in the mail, and many more prayers will be said til I hear some results.

I'm nervous about tomorrow. Gerald has been away, and we've had very little rehearsal time. We've barely seen each other all summer, and our only music time was singing at the AIDS Vigil in Pride Week. It's hard pulling stuff together so quickly. I'm hoping we both get a good night's sleep so we can be at the top of our game when we get in the room together. There's also a time pressure cause Ger's leaving again tomorrow evening. I think I'm feeling more prayers coming on...

As the song says, we'll take it "one sure step at a time".

And lots of prayers.

A rough day for puppies...

Today started early with thunder. Crazy insane thunder that sounded like a building exploding in the backyard. I was so frightened, I nearly called 911. Fortunately, I woke up quickly enough to realize that what I heard only came from the sky and not from the herb garden. The puppies freaked out. Desi was barking and whining. Sebastian was shaking and trying to hide under the bed. Two hours later, we crept downstairs for breakfast.

We hit a little quiet time in the morning. I was going to go out for some errands, but my instincts said to stay home. Smart little instincts. This afternoon, we had a thunder storm. And I mean a stoooorm. Pitch black at three in the afternoon. Thunder and lightening all on top of each other. And then, the climax - a power failure. Ninety minutes of pitch black in the middle of the afternoon. Right during Dr. Phil! Needless to say, the puppies were not happy. Desi followed me around when the thunder was going on, but once the electricity was out, he had to be touching me. Sebastian was a furry little basket case. Cabot was in his cage, feathers all puffed up, and no singing or squawking {I have no idea how to spell squawking! Thank you, spell check.} or anything. Sebastian and Desi and I curled up on the couch. I lit candles and watched the storm. Desi sat close and shut his eyes. Sebbyloo lay in my lap, covered in a blanket, shaking. I felt so sorry for them. They were so scared, and I felt like I could provide such little comfort for them. From their point of view, the world was falling apart, and I'm just sitting there, not fixing it. Poor little babies. Eventually, the lights came on, but the thunder has been rumbling ever since. Desi is fine, but Little One is still under the couch. He hasn't eaten any treats or gone outside. Poor little baby. I hate seeing him like this.

Most of the rest of today was spent in quiet work, and tonight I watched the Gaithers on TV. They are now MY homecoming friends. Look, there's Aunt Faye. Oh, that's my friend, Ben. heeheehee! Silly geeky me! But I love it. At one point, I recognized Brock Speer, sitting next to Aunt Faye. My heart skipped a beat and I started to cry. I've never met him, and yet I feel so connected to him. I wanted him to sing a solo so I could hear him, but that didn't happen.

I'm so honoured and humbled by the scholarship. Brock clearly meant so much to his family. When I got the award, they all sang his praises and told me what an wonderful, awesome, kind, sweet man he was. I want them to be proud that they gave the scholarship to me. I want to honour this man. I don't know how exactly. I guess, right now, I'll just keep following this path that God has lead me to. {I know, Mom. Dangling my prepositions.} I have stopped saying, "Please, God" in my prayers. I am trying to say, "Yes, God."

Whatever it is - Yes, God.

In the circuit...

I'm (un)officially back to work. It's official cause I'm working every day. It's unofficial cause I'm not getting paid for anything right now. Why is August always so slow for me? I should really take this month and spend it in Mexico each year. Then I could just enjoy it and not cry into my fake margueritas about my self-imposed poverty.

Deep breath - But really, I don't want to get a job. I don't want a regular paycheque or dental benefits. This is where I want to be. (...here with you, so close to me...) Doing what I love every day, and getting paid enough to keep my house and my sanity. Besides, it gives me the freedom of watching a movie after midnight, and going to brunch on a Tuesday afternoon. How many nine-to-fivers can say that?

This week, I'm back at auditioning. Four in the past week, including one callback. Not bad, especially given how deadly slow the industry is this year. I've been so blessed this year with auditions and bookings. It's really quite terrible for me to complain at all. Still, I haven't been on set since last month, and I'm feeling that urge again.

One of my auditions was for a musical. I haven't done a stage show in far too long. It would pay diddly, but I would be on stage again. And, right now, that's tempting enough in itself. But we'll see. I went in, looked good, and sang and acted well, and now it's all up to "them" and their idiosyncrasies. Do I look old enough to be a mom and young enough to be a daughter? Is my hair to long/curly/red? Do I have too much experience in theatre, and not enough in musical theatre? Or is it the other way around? Blah, blah, blah. Walk in, do the best I can do in the moment, and leave it there.

I'm so tired tonight. I'm recovered from school - finally - so it's that good-tired of working hard.

Nice...

The real work...

I am now in the phases of "real work". I no longer have the school's schedule or Allison Durham Speer or Daryl Williams to push and inspire me. This is the tough part of achieving your dreams. The infamous follow-through. Self-discipline. Taking the things I learned, and applying them. Building on them. Keeping the momentum. Blah, blah, blah...

As I'm writing this, I realize that I just sent off a professional email without doing spell check. I've now portrayed myself as a writer who doesn't know how to spell. My mother, the ultimate proof-reader, will not be impressed.

I'm trying to revamp my website, so that my musical offerings read more like ministry and less like diva-moments. School was a safe environment, but Toronto is not an easy city for Christians. We're told to hide our nativities at Christmas, and when someone sneezes, it's "bless you". To say "God bless you" is seen as pushy and offensive. Don't get me wrong. I love our multicultural city. I love living in and learning about other religions and cultures. But, in that light, Christianity should be equally accepted and important. In Toronto, wearing a cross on a necklace is fashion. Wearing a cross on a pin is political. How can we survive as a society when we are forced to remove all spirituality from our daily living?

I know there are people who will be offended that I'm taking my music in a new direction. I'm not going to stop singing Kurt Weill or Cole Porter. Good music is good music. I can never deny the power of a good song to affect someone's day. I guess the difference for me is a little broader. With a good jazz song, I can change someone's day. Give them an great night. With a good gospel song, I can change their life. And that's what I've always aimed for as an artist. To shake people up. To bring them out of the ordinary. For them to leave my performance with questions, new thoughts, new considerations.

I know that God has affected my life in amazing ways in the last few years. I can't wow people with my Biblical insights. That's just not my strength. What I can say is this: I was in the darkest place imaginable. My life took a turn that I thought I would not survive. I can't explain it, but this force we call God brought me through it. I can't explain it, but I know that this God loves me, cares for my everyday thoughts and actions, and stays faithful to me in good and bad. And I know that when I gave my art, my career, and my life to Him for His controlling, that my art, my career, and my life changed in ways I could never "ask or imagine". I can't explain it, but I can tell you that I know all these things to be true. And if you have any doubts, try it. Just give your life over to God, and see what will happen. It's truly amazing.

Sunday Serenades

Last night was awesome! I had a gig with the Philips-Westin Orchestra. It's all big band music, and I'm one of two vocalists. We did an outdoor concert in North York. It's part of a weekly series of big band music. Well, the series is more popular than I thought, cause we had thousands - yes, thousands! - of people out to hear us. They sat on benches, chairs, lawns, and ledges. Some brought their dogs. Some brought their kids. Some just sat and nodded along.

But mostly, they danced. They danced to Fever and S'wonderful. They danced to All of Me and Paper Moon. They danced to Mack the Knife and Beyond the Sea.

And it wasn't just shaking and shimmying. They danced. Real, old-school, sweep-her-off-her-feet dancing. How awesome to stand on stage and watch it all, and know that we were a part of this great night.

I did have a Stamps-Baxter moment up on stage though. I was a little nervous starting out. You know, with the thousands of people and all. And I heard Allison Durham Speer screaming, "Open your eyes! Don't disengage your audience!".
But opening your eyes takes such guts and bravado!
I opened my lids. I forced myself to look at a different person for each line of music. And it worked! It felt great. I know I was connecting with people. And I think I sang better too!

Oh, we Allisons are a smart bunch!

Home at last!

I got home 2 days ago, and it feels so good to be here. Nashville was awesome, but Dorothy had it right: There really is no place like home.

My travels weren't so great. My first flight was cancelled and I was put on another airline. 12 hours to get home! Flying in to Toronto felt wonderful, til I looked out the window and saw the blanket of smog covering the city. What are we doing here? I love living in Toronto, but everytime I travel, I fall in love with clean air again.

We just found out yet another friend has cancer. The impulse to leave the city and engage in a genuinely healthy lifestyle seems even stronger in these moments. City-folk think we're being healthy by taking vitamins and visiting the gym. And we wonder why country-folk laugh at us.

I'm trying to spend a little time resting, but I also feel a great need to get to work. I want to use all the knowledge I gained at the school. I am also feeling the need to do some serious reshaping of my career.

For now, it's all unpacking, organizing the trip's receipts for next year's taxes, and listening to the twenty-odd cds I bought.

Nashville - Play Day #4

My last real day in Nashville. Michaela and I hooked up with Tracey for lunch and she took us to Monell's. This was my first time trying soul food, and I was very excited. Monell's is set in a beautiful Victorian house, reminiscent of Stratford. We were led to one of several rooms that serve as dining rooms. But instead of small tables, you sit around a large dining room table. Our table was set for 14. We were the only people there, but when it's full, you sit with whoever is put at your table. The waitress told us to help ourselves to tea while she brought out the food. I was a little confused, because I had yet to see a menu. Well guess what - there is no menu. They just serve you food! Whatever they've made that day. So out come these ladies with huge bowls of food - fried chicken, creamed potatoes, biscuits, corn bread, peach preserves, green beans, spinach lasagna, and something green with marshmallows and pecans in it. The food kept coming til there was over 12 bowls of food on the table. All for the 3 of us. And then brownies for dessert. It was impressive. We just kept eating and eating til they asked us to leave {they're only open a few hours at a time}. It was like Christmas or Thanksgiving in my family. They just bring you food til you roll out the door.

Michaela flew home today, so after dropping her off at the airport, Tracey and I visited the Speer Building on Music Row. This is the part of town where all the music publishers and record companies are located. It doesn't look like a business district at all. Most of the companies are in gorgeous old homes. I got to say a few good-byes, meet Ben's dogs, and see a little behind the scenes stuff. I have already been assigned my voice teacher for next year's school.

Tonight was the Grand Ole Opry. This is the only thing I had planned before I came. It's no secret that I'm not a country music fan, but how could I come to Nashville and not see the Opry? And I'm sure everyone else knows this, but "Opry" is a bastardization of "Opera". This made me giggle. The Opry is still a live-to-air radio show, and runs as such. There is no curtain between acts. People are very casual on stage. Performers will stand on the side of the stage to watch the other acts, and their friends and family have special seats on the stage itself. There are 8 acts. Everyone does about 12 minutes, with 3 minutes of live commercials inbetween. The whole show is 2 hours exactly. Our show was a mix of old and new country. First there was hall-of-famer Porter Wagoner. He's exactly what I think of when I think Opry. A cowboy hat and a rhinestoned purple suit. But he was wonderful. His voice is old, but his spirit felt young. And you can tell he means every word he sings. Then there was a great singer, Rebecca Lynn Howard. Great vocals and fun songs. Jesse McReynolds and the Virginia Boys provided great bluegrass music. Did you know bluegrass music started with the Irish and Scottish settlers? They brought the Celtic music up into the mountains, and it developed into bluegrass. That's my people! Billy Currington was a sexy hillbilly treat. He's got to be a rising star. Mandy Barnett has great smoky vocals, but she really needs a good stylist. Dress-shorts and heels are so 1985. John Conlee sang a song about the families of soldiers at war. Not as good a song as Hero at Home, from the Bluebird, but it had the crowd on its feet. Jim Ed Brown delivered touching old songs with warm harmonies. Really gentle and charming. Daryle Singletary finished the program with an accent so thick I couldn't understand a word he said. He's a real cowboy-hat-wearing country singer. A little too country for me.

The Opry ends at 9:00, so we visited the IMAX theatre to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and chocolate. What could be better?

We then went for a stroll through the Opryland Hotel. It's amazing. There are 3 arboretums inside the actual hotel. And one has a river, and in the day, you can take a boat ride though it. I really wanted to knock on someone's room so I could see inside, but I didn't think it would go over very well. I know the people here are friendly, but that may be pushing it.

I've had an amazing time in Nashville, but I'm also looking forward to going home tomorrow. Here's prayers for safe travel...

Nashville - Play Day #3

This morning started early with a lovely continental breakfast and a swim in the pool. I love hotels! Every morning should start with someone else making breakfast and a quick dip in your pool.

Today was our downtown day. Michaela and I made the mistake of taking a cab. We felt like calling the police and telling them that the cabbies are ripping people off! Apparently, Nashville has no real public transit, so most people drive. Therefore, the cabs have a great monopoly on transporting poor souls like us. I take a lot of cabs, and I've never seen the meter jump up so fast. Just crazy!

Our first stop was the legendary Ryman Auditorium. The Ryman was built as a church in the 1800's, and later, due to it's awesome acoustics, it became a theatre and event centre. It had a vibrant stint as a performing arts space in the first half of the 1900's, hosting such talents as Fanny Brice, Sarah Bernhart, and Helen Hayes. It also featured touring musicians and opera companies. In the mid 1900's, it became the home of the Grand Ole Opry, and this is how it is best known today. After the Opry moved to it's current home, the Ryman sat empty, until an 8-million-dollar renovation re-opened it's doors. It currently has a busy concert schedule. My fear with renovated buildings is always that the spirits will be pushed out of the space, but not here. When you are in this theatre, you can feel all the music, all the artists, all the spirits that have filled the space. Michaela and I did the self-guided tour of the auditorium, and the backstage tour. It's such a beautiful space with curved seating and a gallery. The staff were very friendly with lots of great stories about the history of the place. But here's the best moment - they let you stand on the stage to take pictures. I stood on a stage where Bob Hope and Ethel Barrymore and the Follies performed. And I could feel all of it. And then, they let me sing. I opened up and sang It Is Well, in a high key. No mic. What gorgeous acoustics! They say they're second only to Carnegie Hall. You could hear the sound filling every corner of the auditorium. At that moment, I fell madly and hopelessly in love with the Ryman! Michaela also sang, and it was beautiful. We've decided that performing there in on our lists of life goals.

After floating out of the theatre, we spent the afternoon gadding up and down Broadway, visiting every open store and club. Lunch was at Legends Corner. They don't have a kitchen, but they serve lunch. Go figure. Our waitress was great. Very hyper. She would just get up and leave the building every few minutes. Michaela figures she was waiting tables next door as well. But you know, she would always put down her cigarette before coming to our table, and that's just good service. The place is a dive in the best kind of way. Smoky, with walls covered in all kinds of music memorabilia, and a cowboy on stage singing and playing guitar. If they haven't shot a film there, they should.

Next was the Ernest Tubb Record Shop. Their motto is if they don't have a specific cd, it's just not worth having. Again, memorabilia everywhere. Every building on the strip is covered in memorabilia. I found a great double cassette of Dottie Rambo giving lessons on songwriting, and some cds of the Jordanaires. I also picked up a few local cds of singer-songwriters for Gerald.

Gruhn's Guitars was amazing. Again, a Gerald store. I played a $4200.00USD Taylor. All koa with abalone inlay. Stunning! Way too much guitar for me.

We wandered into Willie Nelson's General Store and Museum with some trepidation. The "museum" is in the back of the store, and it costs $5 to see it. You'd think a living legend would deserve a bigger tribute, but who are we to comment? We skipped the museum, but I did find some great Jack Daniels treats to bring home. The Confederate flag could be found on t-shirts, mugs, and bumper stickers. I would have told them that it's not politically correct to display it, but I really value my life too much. We left there pretty quickly.

We strolled by the river, which is lovely, and found an outdoor stage. Calling this place Music City is no exaggeration. Music is not simply everywhere. It's welcomed and encouraged. How can you not love that? And there's a public art display on this summer of giant guitar sculptures, each painted by a different artist. Kind of like the moose in Toronto.

We visited the Hatch Show Print, which makes posters for all the Ryman concerts, as well as shows across the country. We found a poster there for a show at the ACC in Toronto! They still print by hand using hand-carved blocks. Michaela and I have also decided that someday, they will do our posters.

Oh, and we had a great visit to the Dixieland ice cream store. Again, live music! In an ice-cream parlour! This is awesome.

Nashville doesn't feel like a big city. It sort of feels like a very busy town. Everyone is very relaxed, and they're all on "Nashville time", which is sort of like "island time". So friendly and good.

However, this city is a little too obsessed with air-conditioning. It's a lovely heat outside, but you need a sweater inside. What's up with that?

Our evening was spent at BB King's Blues Club, featuring the talents of the Clarence Dobbins Revue. They did lots of old-school R&B, like Otis Redding, Al Green, and Marvin Gaye. And, oh my! Can Clarence work the room! He would loop the cord of the mic around his arm, and walk to a table and sing to people. Then he'd drag the cord to another table. He barely stood on the stage. Walking, and singing, and dragging and winding the cord. And he kept taking us "back in the day". He took us so far back, we were expecting a song about creation! Everybody in the room loved him. He had to feel it. Funny and great.

Nashville - Play Day #2

There is so much to tell about today, and I'm going to start at the beginning. {Sing: A very good place to start...}

This morning, I attended worship at River of Life church. Daryl Williams is the music director here. I sat with the associate pastor's wife and grandson. Very nice people. Before the service, we attended Sunday School. I'm used to Sunday School being for children, but down here, there is an adult class and a children's class. Everyone meets at 9am for an hour before the service. I learned later that this is a tradition that is fading in many churches because there are so many opportunities now for Christian education.

The church was very friendly. I received a lovely visitor's packet that I'm bringing home with me as a model for our church. The style of service was sort of Pentecostal. It started with some hymns, prayers, and announcements. All good. Then, they welcomed their special guest. Evangelist Nancy Harmond was there with her choir, The Mighty Warriors, to lead a 4 day mission. She's a singer, songwriter, and preacher. They started with some great songs and music. Then the choir sat down so Nancy could preach. And this is when things got interesting...

Before you read the next section: I'm going to apologize in advance to anyone who is offended by what I am about to write. I have visited many different churches, and I'm very comfortable and accepting of various forms of worship. However, this was a very new experience for me. Please take my comments as what they are - observations of a newcomer!

So, Nancy's basic message is that we must be vibrant in our praise of God. {That's cool.} She told us that we must praise God with our mouth and not simply with our thoughts. And if we praise solely with our thoughts, we are in disobedience to God. {This, I'm not totally in agreement with.} She's self-admittedly bold and in-your-face, and I think she likes it that way. She likes pushing people out of their comfort zone. Well, she'd be thrilled with me. Every comment she made, she wanted people to shout back to her in response. "Amen", "Praise God", whatever. She didn't care what they said, but she wanted it loud. And if it wasn't loud enough for her, she'd tell us to "wake up" and answer her.

She starts telling a Bible story about 4 armies in battle. She starts calling up men in the congregation to stand in place to symbolize the armies. Then, in the story, God told the choir to guard the "good" army, so she gets her choir, the Mighty Warriors, to stand up front too. Then, she tells her Mighty Warriors to start praising God. They weren't praising loud enough for her, so she gets them to start yelling. So, next in the story, the other three armies got confused and killed each other. So she gets the men in the congregation to start killing each other. Keep in mind, this is not the church drama club. These are just regular men going to church. So they start play-acting like they're killing each other. And then she tells them to lie down on the floor, cause that's what dead men do. So all these men are lying down on the floor of the church! One man sat in a chair, and she yells, "Dead men don't sit up. Lie down!" Next in the story, the "good" army plundered the dead armies, so she orders the Mighty Warriors to go to the "dead" men, and steal their riches. So they actually start taking off these men's watches and rings and piling them up in the front of the church! Eventually, she lets the men stand up and go back to their seats, leaving their jewelry up front til the end of the service.

So, I'm a little uncomfortable with re-enacting a battle scene in church, but oh! The best is yet to come. She starts talking in tongues! Maybe this happens in your church everyday, but not in mine. She starts, and then she orders her Mighty Warriors to talk in tongues, so they all look at her, reach out their arms to her, and they start taking in tongues. Then people in the congregation start talking in tongues! {NEVER experienced this in my LIFE!}

Next, she looks at the lady in front of me, and tells her she's ready for a miracle. So this women comes up front, and Nancy starts talking in tongues, til she says "Satan get out of her!" and smacks her on the head and the woman falls down. {I have since learned that this is called "slain in the spirit"}. I've been to churches where people fall down before, but nothing this loud or seemingly violent. And this just starts happening over and over, with Nancy picking people out of the crowd, and the Mighty Warriors yelling to God and talking in tongues. I start praying, "Please God, don't give me a miracle today." Cause I am not moving from my seat! When the person would fall, a Mighty Warrior would catch them, cover them with a cloth, and just leave them there shaking on the floor. So now picture this: Nancy is up front speaking in tongues and hitting people on the head. The Mighty Warriors are walking around yelling praises and catching people. The congregation is mostly standing and yelling stuff. And there are shaking people all over the floor. And I'm the quiet Anglican in the third row, unable to go anywhere cause I'm sitting with the preacher's wife.

But oh, it doesn't stop there. Next Nancy yells, "Mighty Warriors, do a little dance!" and they all start dancing. I've seen lots of dancing in church, but never on command. So add dancing to the scene above. But then it hits a high point when she tells her Mighty Warriors to run around the church for God. All her choir members put their hands in the air and start running about the sanctuary. Running! And still yelling and speaking in tongues. And then she starts pointing to people and telling them that God wants them to run too! So they would run too! Again I'm praying, "God, please don't want me to run." One older lady jumps up to run, trips, falls right down on her face, someone helps her up, and she just keeps on running. It was amazing! I've truly never seen anything like this, not even on tv. I really wanted to be there to see it all, but I would like prefered to be a fly-on-the-wall instead of an Anglican in the third row. I felt really really really uncomfortable. And I've never felt uncomfortable in a church. This was not a form of worship that I enjoyed or felt at all connected to. I have no doubt that God could hear us. I just don't think we could hear God.

After two and a half hours, an older couple stood up to leave. Nancy snapped at them to save her a place at the restaurant. The pastor, God bless him, quickly stood and ended the service. And I breathed a sigh of relieve.

I was later told that the congregation is generally pretty reserved, and that Nancy is a special guest. Some people really loved it, and some people walked out. It was a fabulous thing to witness first hand, but once is enough for me. You know, I've been in church my whole life. I'm open-minded, and I love witnessing and participating in various forms of worship. But, in my opinion, no one should feel attacked in church. If you can make me feel uncomfortable, what are you doing to someone who's new to church?

After lunch, the pastor and his wife took me out for lunch. They are awesome, generous people. We had a lovely time and great food. I told them that Dad's a priest, so we were able to compare things about our different churches, and they were great in answering questions I have about the Southern Christian churches. They welcomed me back any time, and even told me I could stay with them if I'm ever in town again. Lots of times, Mom and Dad have cared for visitors who've come to the church. I now know how comforting it can be.

This afternoon, Michaela came to stay at the hotel with me til Tuesday. It'll be good to have the company. Of course, we're still exhausted, so we dedicated a few hours to napping.

Tonight, Micheala, Tracey and I visited the legendary Bluebird Cafe. I was sent there by Gerald, and I'm so glad I was. The Bluebird is a songwriter's club. You can't perform cover tunes, or anything that's had some kind of major release. It's pretty much for new and original material only. It's an absolute dive. It's not even downtown. It's in a strip mall in the middle of nowhere. The first set was a husband and wife duo. They live in the mountains, and it's reflected in the celtic, Americana sound of their music. Then, it was locals night. All the performers live in Nashville or the surrounding area. There were 12 artists, each doing 3 songs. A mix of stuff. Overall, very good, with some excellent stuff floating to the top. Todd Elgin was witty and entertaining. One writer's song, Hero at Home, celebrated a women who's husband has gone off to war. It's being released by another artistic on Sept 5th. Keep an ear out for it, cause it's a really good song. After the locals, they always have a featured songwriter, someone who's had some great success with their songs. Tonight was Shae Smith. Most of her stuff is country, so I didn't know it, but I did recognize Complicated. She was really great. There's something so raw and wonderful about hearing a writer, who's not a performer, perform their own songs. She did this one song about a man attending AA meetings. So moving and wonderful. It hooked into me in a deep way.

The Bluebird has a very welcoming and supportive atmosphere. Songwriters are just loved in this town. I picked up a pamphlet on how to book a spot at the club. Gerald and I have to play there!

Nashville - Day 10

I can't believe my time at the school is over! It took so long to get here, and it's gone so quickly.

I've learned today that people are actually reading my blog. What a crazy thought. I hope I can continue to be honest in my writings and not get self-conscious.

Our day started with devotions. I love Aunt Faye. Our theory class opened the day by singing Heaven's Parade. Way too early to be singing a high G!

Then I had my final lesson with Mr. Lane. What an awesome gentleman. I wish I'd had my picture taken with him, but my memories and learning will stay with me forever. I've just loved our time together. His passion for music and writing is so inspiring. He was very encouraging, and sent me home with lots to work on. I definitely want to continue to study theory and harmony when I get home. And I'm going to take all my songs and start to write SATB arrangements of them.

We had a great time in our final theory class. Someone requested that I sing It Is Well. I didn't want to take away from class time, but they insisted. So I sang the verses and everyone joined in on the chorus. It was so amazing. I took a class photo. What a great group of people. And what a great teacher, Mr Jack Clark.

Oh, and I didn't make it into the closing night program. But that was cool. I've had lots of great singing opportunities here. It just meant I could relax this afternoon and enjoy the day.

Our final group singing session was wonderful. Everyone sang out and just praised the Lord with voice and song. I have learned so much here. It will take a long time to grasp all that has come to me in these days.

I'm also so thankful for all the friends I've made. We all have such a bond through the music and through our faith. In Toronto, we're very multicultural, and yet it's not proper to say you're a Christian. It's okay to talk about religion, but not about faith. It's been so nice to be able to talk honestly about God and our faith.

THE CLOSING PROGRAM
Well, what a night! All the students did group singing, and then there were a few soloists and groups performing as well. It was like a super-high-class-gospel-student-recital. Michaela sang His Eye is On the Sparrow, and it was an annointed song. She is so awesome. I want her to come to Toronto so I can book her at my church. There was some great quartets. We did 12 group songs, and it sounded awesome. There was also some comedy bits showing the best way to be the world's worst gospel quartet!

And then, Ben and Aunt Faye and Miss Mary Tom came on stage to talk about scholarships. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I applied for a scholarship and didn't get one. I was pretty mad too. The scholarships are based on financial need, and this year, I've been feeling pretty needy. When I got here, I got a little more mad cause I kept meeting people who'd won scholarships. I kept saying, "God, I don't know why you didn't let me have a scholarship, but I'm sure you know what you're doing. It just doesn't make any sense to me." And I prayed to find peace with it, which I did.

Tonight, they started talking about another scholarship, based on talent and being a diligent student. I didn't know any such scholarship existed. As I sat there, I thought, "God, this is the kind of thing I'd love to get. I know I didn't win, but I thank you so much for the amazing experience I've had here." And with that, they called out my name.

They called out my name! - Allison Lynn! - Even when they said 'Allison', I thought it may be someone else. But it wasn't. It was me. I won the Brock Speer Memorial Scholarship for my dedication to learning gospel music and developing my talents. I was in shock. I just started to cry. I'm starting to cry just remembering it. Someone pushed me up on stage. I hugged everyone. I thanked them. I thanked Mom and Dad and Gerald. Without them, I'm not able to do anything. I told them I'd never worked so hard in my life, and that tomorrow I'm going to spend bobbing around in a swimming pool. {I can't believe I said that, but I wasn't really in a clear state of mind!}

I told them that three years ago, my life changed, and at the age of 29, I was a widow. I told them that I had been angry at God for a long time. But after a year, He kept knocking, and I let Him back in. I told them that I gave my career over to Him, and now look where He's brought me...

I never thought I would be in Nashville and I never thought gospel music would be taking such a prominent place in my life. Before I came here, I was at a crossroads in my music career. I prayed I would find guidance in what I do. I told everyone, "I will either come home hating the whole industry, or I'll have a contract from Bill Gaither." Well, it's pretty close to a contract...

I know that I'm still in shock from tonight. But I know that God wanted me here. The plan He has for you may not be what you expect, but it is definitely awesome!

"Our God is an awesome God!"

Nashville - Day 9

Today was a mountain, a valley, and then another mountain.

MOUNTAIN #1
This morning started with devotions with Aunt Faye. Yes, she's everyone's aunt. I thought devotions would be worship time, but it's much more relaxed. Every morning, she just tells a little story with a meaningful message, and then leads us in a short prayer. It's a lovely and calming way to start the day. I've decided I'd like Aunt Faye to come to my house every morning to tell me something lovely.

Then I had my final songwriting lesson. My song has finally come together, and yes, you will hear it in Toronto. I sang the tune, and Daryl wrote out a chord chart for it. We did a quicky demo on a cassette, so I have something to bring home. The lesson ended far too quickly, but he offered to review my material anytime. I'll be keeping in touch with him for sure.

As my classes are ending, I'm giving out copies of my cd as thank you presents. I feel it's the best thing I could put in the hands of my teachers.

THE VALLEY
After my lesson, I felt a little low. I went to my room, and spent the next five hours sick in bed. It was terrible. Nothing makes you homesick like an upset tummy. I'm feeling better now. Just a little worn out. But I'm mad cause I missed a whole day of classes and stuff.

MOUNTAIN #2
Tonight we had auditions for the closing night program. What an impressive line-up of talent is here at the school. There were over 40 soloists and 15 groups that auditioned. We were all limited to 90 seconds, so it went quickly. Still, it took three hours to hear everyone. I did a solo and a group. My solo was It Is Well With My Soul, and my friend, Karen, played piano. I was still feeling weak, so my main goal was not to fall off the stage. I think it went well, and I've had some very generous compliments on it. Of course, I have to be realistic. They are only going to take two or three soloists, and there's no way I can compete with the 9-year-old blues singer! But I'm still glad that I took the opportunity to sing. And I just love that song so much. I'll take any chance to sing it.

My group audition was our trio, singing What God's Gonna Do. I haven't written anything about us for a while. Donna lost her voice for several days. We were hoping to perform earlier in the week, but it just wasn't possible. So tonight, we only got to do 90 seconds. Still, it was so great just to learn it and get the chance to perform with Debbie and Donna. Our group name was Pure Heart. It was really great fun, and I'll be bringing that song back to Toronto too.

And now, I must get some sleep so I can enjoy tomorrow. I don't want to miss a minute of the day. I've never worked so hard in my whole life. I can't believe it's almost over. But, oh my, do I need a day off!

Nashville - Day 8

Today began with a great theory class. We did some work on songwriting. Jack has done an arrangement of my song "The Very Best", about the wedding at Canna. I haven't had a chance to hear it yet.

I left that class to go to my private songwriting class. It was great. The lyric is almost done, and my assignment was to write out a tune. We also took a lot of time to talk about how to market a song to different groups and artists. It was really great stuff to learn. I skipped group singing in the afternoon {don't tell anybody!} to work on the song. I locked myself in a rehearsal room and banged at the piano till I had a reasonable tune. Tomorrow, we'll do a rough recording of what I have so far.

I performed again in Allison Durham Speer's class. I'm glad I sang the first day. Her class is so popular that she has a 2-day waiting list for singers. I did "Jacob's Ladder", acapella. I started at the back of the crowd, and walked up through the audience as I sang. {If you were at my and Gerald's concert in Toronto or Botwood last summer, this is how I opened the show.} I tried to follow all the rules she has given us about being a good communicator. I sang 5 verses with 2 key changes, and after, I got the crowd to sing the last verse with me again. I've never done anything like this! Singing in the crowd. Talking directly to individuals. Leading the audience in spontaneous singing. It was great. She had very little feedback for me, but was really pleased in all the changes since last week. There is definitely lots of space for improvement, but it was still a very satisfying experience.

This afternoon, I had another lesson with Harold Lane. When you see him, he looks so old and fragile. But when he starts talking music, his whole person changes. His face lights up and he gets very animated. And he has such a gentle laugh. I feel so honoured to be his pupil. I'm learning so much about harmony and how to write it and figure it out. I'm meeting with him again tomorrow.

Tonight, we had group singing again with Mike Speck. We were the test choir for 2 new songs. They'll be published in a book later on this year, so we didn't even have finished charts. And he would rewrite as we sang. It was really cool.

Our concert tonight was by the family group, the Northams, who also led the church service on Sunday. They were so powerful! We were all in tears at some point.

I have to share a funny story from today. My songwriting teacher was asking about my acting, and I mentioned The Pacifier. Well! That's his family's favourite movie and they saw it twice in the theatre. So he introduced me to his daughter and told her I was in the film. Well, kids talk, and soon they all knew. So today, I had a line-up of children asking for my autograph! They were so sweet! And they all had questions about the movie - Who did I meet? What was it like? How much money did I make?

I'm also spending a bit of time with the kids' class today and tomorrow. They're singing some of my songs. I love it!

I think I'm falling asleep as I write!

Nashville - Day 7

A million amazing things happened today. I'm going to go in chronological order, so make sure you read til the end.

To start with, I took my songs to Harold Lane - composer and arranger extraordinaire. Ben thought he might like to arrange my songs in 4-part harmony. Well, he didn't. Instead, he gave me a one hour private lesson in writing harmony! It was incredible. I realize there are people who do this every day, but for me, harmony has always been something "other" people figure out. Today, I learned how to do it, and it's like a light-bulb has been turned on in a dark room. I look at the music, and it all makes sense in a new way. I can see how things fit and work together on the page to make those great sounds. Imagine speaking English your whole life, and then one day learning how to read. Lots of new doors would be opened for you. That's how I felt today after my lesson. He's given me lots of homework, and I'm hoping to meet with him again tomorrow.

Then I went to a career workshop. It started a little slow. Mostly stuff I already know. But then he started talking about song choice and how to book gigs at churches, and that was great. I got his book, and I'll probably attend another workshop on Thursday.

This afternoon, we recorded our cd! It's all convention songs that are in our school songbook, edited by Harold Lane - a.k.a. my new harmony teacher! It went really well. Most songs were done in one take, and we even had time to record a few extra songs. We recorded in our rehearsal hall, sitting in the round in our SATB parts. There were 5 mics on tall poles, and they used, what looked like, a Mac program. The cd will be available for us by the end of the week.

Tonight, our group singing was again led by Mike Speck. He was on fire tonight! {The man is brilliant, but, oh my, is he crazy!} He gave us lots of great thoughts for leading worship as a choir. His best statement was that the choir should be a thermostat and not a thermometer. A thermometer tells you what the temperature is, but a thermostat can turn up the heat. A choir must raise the "heat" in the worship. We must not simply reflect the energy of the congregation. We must strive to increase the worship experience of the congregation. Just great stuff. Oh, and he's given me the name of Miss Canada. Where's my tiara when I need it?

Tonight's concert was by the extraordinary Anthony Burger. He's a pianist, and the most high-profile, non-Speer performer we've had. He's all energy, and he just burns up the keys. He is accompanied by orchestral tracks of his own arrangements. His signature thing is taking well known classical works, like the William Tell overture, and mixing in a hymn-tune. He's such a showman too. At one point, a cloud of steam exploded from the piano.

But the highlight of the day will undoubtedly go down as one of the highlights of my life. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, I met Bill Gaither. William J. Gaither. Husband of Gloria Gaither. Writer of "Because He Lives", "There's Something About That Name", and "He Touched Me". Founder and producer of the Homecoming video and concert series. Can you tell I'm a fan? Bill Gaither is so much of what I aspire to be: singer, songwriter, and producer. Yesterday, we were told he probably wouldn't be coming. Thank GOD I brought my camera tonight! I went speechless when he walked into the room. He introduced himself and opened the floor to questions. I asked three.

1. Do you ever find time to simply attend a church service? - Yes, I'm in church every Sunday.

2. Do you still find time to write when you're traveling so much? - Not really; not as much as I should.

3. What makes you chose a location for a video taping like we'll have in Toronto this fall? - Well, we wanted to do a large auditorium taping cause we haven't done that before; we're hoping to have 15000 people in Toronto, which will probably be the largest live taping of a gospel concert; and there's always such a great energy up there in Toronto.

Yes, I shot my hand up three times. He then introduced Anthony and stayed for the concert. Oh, and Ruff Taft came to see the show too. After the show, Mr. Gaither {I just couldn't call him "Bill"} did photos and autographs. You KNOW I got my photo with him. And I told him what an inspiration he is to me. And then, I did that shameless thing that Gerald loves me for - I gave him my cd! I told him I'd like him to have it, not as a pitch, but simply as a thank you for all he's done. I don't know if he heard me, cause he was mobbed. But he took it! Bill Gaither has MY cd!!! I nearly cried tonight. I'm just so excited and honoured to have met him.

Some people have met Elvis or presidents. I have met Bill Gaither. If I had done nothing else this week but meet him, it would have been an amazing week. If I had attended this school and never met Bill Gaither, it would be an amazing week.

Now that both have happened in the same week ... I just don't have the words to describe it.

Nashville - Day 6

Obviously not my sixth day here, but my sixth day of classes. And if today is any indication, this week is going to fly by far too quickly. If they had this kind of school in a full-time program, I seriously think I would sign up. This place is so amazing.

You know how singers always say we want to sing til we're old? Well, tonight I saw a vision of what I want to be. Tonight, we had a surprise visit from Rosa Nell Speer. She's in her eighties, and her health has prevented her from being a part of the school so far. One of the conductors persuaded her to get up on stage to play piano, and she banged out What a Friend We Have in Jesus. It was swinging and great. Then she, Ben, and Mary Tom got up and did an impromptu concert! Here are these three people in their seventies and eighties, belting out 3-part harmonies, being funny and rousing up the crowd. It was so inspiring! That's what we all aim for! That's what we want. In classical, or opera, or music theatre, you reach a point where people think it's "best" for you not to sing in public anymore. In gospel, that doesn't really happen. I guess it's because the message is more important than high notes or long phrasing. The whole event was just so incredible. I just feel so blessed to have heard these legends sing in such a family atmosphere.

The rest of the day was pretty awesome too. In theory, we're learning how to write 4-part harmony. I'm so excited! That's one of the things I wanted to learn. It's kind of like doing a puzzle. You just need to fit all the right notes into all the right voices. {If this sounds inaccurate for you composers, give me a break! It's my first day!}

I also presented my song lyric to Daryl. He's really excited about it. He thinks it's really good and solid. My next job is to add a bridge and a tune. I think he'll help me arrange it. I was going to show him some of my other songs, but I think I want to focus my remaining lessons on this song. By the way, the title is "I'm waiting here for you".

There are some fantastic arrangers here, so I'm going to have some of my songs arranged in 4-part harmony. My Christmas songs for sure, and I Call Out Your Name.

We did a lot of group singing today. Tomorrow, we're recording a cd of convention music. Can't wait to see how they do the recording set-up.

I actually have lots of homework to do tonight! And I'm still expected to get some sleep!

Love being here!

Nashville - Sunday

Another fairly lazy day, but I'm writing this a little earlier tonight so I can get ready for tomorrow's classes. I still have work to do on my song for Daryl's class. I worked on a the second verse this afternoon, but all I ended up with was a rewritten first verse. I like this new first verse better, so that's good, but I still need a second verse.

We had a worship service this morning, lead by Bruce Northam. Bruce is the father in the family group, the Northams, and he's also a preacher. He gave a great sermon about working in ministry, be it preaching or music. His main point was that it's not how you start, but how you finish. He gave great Biblical and real-life examples of people who start with God in mind, but they let other things distract them, and their lives and ministries fall apart. He gave some great tools for staying on track and keeping God first. The Northams led the music, and they were great. They're doing a concert for us this week, and I'm really looking forward to it. My voice teacher, Jaimie, is one of the daughters, and it was great to hear her sing too.

We went out for lunch and I tried fried catfish. Awesome!

Tonight, Donna drove us downtown, just for a look around. We saw the Ryman Auditorium, which was home of the Grand Old Opry for years and years. I've found out they offer a backstage tour, so I'll be checking that out on my extra days. I'm staying a few days after school ends to play around, so I'm trying to find lots of great music stuff to do. I'm sure I'll be busy!

Nashville - Saturday

Our first day off. It's mostly been a lazy day of sleep, pajamas, phone calls home, and food. Real nice and real needed. {This last sentence sounds best said with a big long drawl.}

Tonight, we practiced our trio. My partners are Debbie, from Florida, and Donna, from Kentucky. We're going to do "What God's Gonna Do", by The Martins. We went into a practice room and worked on the harmonies, and then went out to the performance hall to do it on the stage. There were a couple of guys also practicing, and they watched us do our song. We asked if they had any feedback, and it started several hours of singing and working and creating and just having a great time with music. I think we're going to do the song during Performance Opportunity one night and if we really feel confident, we'll try out for the closing night performance.

And now, the highlight of the day - Today, Ben Speer performed my song! That's right! Today we had the barbecue, which had to be moved indoors cause of the insane heat, and the bluegrass festival. Most of the performers were from the school, so people were welcome to get up and sing with the band. Donna and I jumped up and did an impromptu version of I'll Fly Away - the only bluegrass song I know. I thought of a song I thought might be good. I said "God, if this is the wrong move, trip me when I get up to walk." I stood up, and didn't trip, so I walked up and asked if I could sing a song. I pulled out the sheet music for I Call Out Your Name. The band was Ben on double bass, Bruce Northam on fiddle, and students on guitars, accordion, mandolin, drums, and vocal harmonies. And we all started to play my song. It was so truly amazing! I was floating on a cloud of music and joy. I've sung this song many times in many ways, but I will never forget today. All these people, joining in on my little tune. Playing and singing and praising God with my little song. I'm still high thinking of it. *sigh* After, several people told me how much they liked it, and one guy took a copy to bring to his church. I'm just so warm with the memory of it all.

I continue to find this place such a blessing. I'm so glad I came!

Nashville - Day 5

I can't believe it's Friday! The school is officially half over! On Monday, the day felt so long, and now it's flying by way too fast.

Well, today was a day of brave things. I have started showing some of my songs around. I won't discuss details now, just in case nothing comes of it. Hopefully, I'll be able to share a few things next week.

My Peace in the Valley "reputation" is growing. This morning in theory, I was called to the front of the class. I nervously staggered up. Jack started to play the intro for Peace in the Valley, and I just started to sing. We did two verses, and the class joined in on the choruses. How amazing! An amazing accompanist to support me, and then this awesome group of music-loving-singers joining in.

My final feat of bravery was performing in front of the whole school during Performance Opportunity, which happens every night after the concert. This is when anyone can get up and sing, play, whatever. There is no feedback or anything. Just performing. I sang I Believe, and my new friend Karen played piano. She's also a great accompanist. I was nervous, but I really tried to focus on communicating the message of the song. I think that part worked well, and I've gotten some nice comments since. We did a lot of work on segues today in class, so I really tried to do well on my introduction to the song. But sooo nervous! Who wouldn't be with Ben Speer in the audience?

I continue to meet new and interesting people here. I amazes me how Southern Gospel, shape-note singing, convention music, and quartets is such a culture here. These people are steeped in it. Even the kids are singing these intricate harmonies and busy texts. It's so neat!

One more thing I've been meaning to mention: Southerners are a lot like Newfoundlanders. It's true! They're very generous and warm. Everyone you meet is instant family. There's lots of food and it's not always very good for you. Fashion and style are not so important. God, family, and being a good person are. And they have music and humour in their blood.

Tonight's concert was the faculty concert. It was Gaither-style - everyone sat in a semi-circle and got up for solos. Sarah Delane was a special guest singer. And the highlight was Allison Durham Speer's special appearance as ... wait for it ... Vestal Goodman! She was all dolled up with a huge wig and crazy clothes, hanky in hand, and she came out and sang in her best Vestal voice and mannerisms. It brought down the house! But for me, the most poignant moment was when Mary Tom Speer sang a solo, and Ben and nephew Tim sang back up harmonies. Mary Tom must be close to 80, and she just sang out in this strong and open voice. Her diction was clear and her message was strong. She was an absolute inspiration!

We have our most relaxing evening now. There's a movie showing later on, and people are making plans for Saturday. Tomorrow is a lazy day, so I'll be sleeping in. I've also told my suite-mates to find another bathroom for an hour - I'll be locking myself in the bath-tub for a nice long soak. All this deep breathing and good posture is exhausting!

Nashville - Day 4

I'm so tired I think I may actually be asleep right now! But I still can't stop singing and clapping and enjoying myself.

The schedule is just so intense, and then I stayed up til midnight with my songwriting assignment. Midnight is usually early for me, but not when I need to get up at 6:30. However, the late night was worth it. I was finally able to find a quiet moment for writing, and some good stuff came. My teacher is very impressed! He said he usually puts beginners on to a second assignment at this point, but he likes my idea so much that he wants me to continue with this and finish the whole song by the end of school. It's very encouraging! You should google him - Daryl Williams - and check out some of his songs. Really good.

Tonight's concert was a real Southern gospel quartet called The Premiers. They have great individual voices, but their blend was so smooth and rich. The piano player is my theory teacher, Jack Clark. Every day in theory class, Jack gives us a history lesson. We hear a vintage recording of someone important in Southern gospel history. And usually, Jack has an anecdote that starts, "When I knew these guys...". That will give an idea of the span of his career.

Oh, and one more thing to add to yesterday's definition of 'convention' music. It's usually just four voices and piano. Adding other instruments was not traditionally done.

Just a note on the theory classes too. There are 10 theory levels taught here - everything from absolute beginner to advanced. At registration, we were given a written test so they'd know where to place us. You are placed by ability and age, so the kids are in a separate class. We all learn basic music theory, sight-singing, ear-training, and shape-notes. I think we're the only class that does history.

We have a guest conductor right now for some of our group singing - Mike Speck. He's a composer and arranger, and he travels all over the country leading and teaching music at churches and schools. He also visits the People's Church in Toronto. He's just awesome! So full of the Spirit of God, and encouraging us to seek that same Spirit through music. Tonight, he encouraged us to look for God in all kinds of music, not just the ones we grew up with or the ones we like. I couldn't agree more!

I also attended a song-writing workshop today with Dave Clark. It was so inspiring! He taught a lot of technical things, which I really need to learn. But above all technique, he told us to write from our passion, and to always strive for great songs, not just good songs.

I also want to share a lovely moment I had today. A man came up and, remembering my performance from Day 1, asked if I always sing Peace in the Valley acapella {without instrumental accompaniment}. I said that I usually do it with piano or guitar. He asked if I would mind singing it while he played. So we grabbed a quiet piano, and we played through it. He was a great player. When we were done, he told me he had never played the song before! But he really loves it and loves the way I sing it. We played through it once more. It just felt wonderful. Then he thanked ME for singing for him. I was the one who felt thankful and honoured.

This morning I was putting on my make-up and I started to hum He Touched Me. My room-mate, Michaela, started to hum harmonies. There are so many magical musical moments like that around here. What a blessing this place is to me!

Nashville - Day 3

Wednesday is done. That means the rest of the week will fly by, and then we're half done. And I still can't figure out shape notes!

Today was awesome. I'm going to start with our concert tonight, which was by Stephen Hill. I've seen him on the Gaither videos, and I must confess that I wasn't too excited. He did some songs with back-ups tracks, and there were some good songs. Then he pulled out his guitar, and I was hooked. He did acoustic blues gospel, and I loved it! It reminded me of the kind of stuff Gerald and I do. Partly cause he plays a Taylor, but also cause he took some great classics, like He's Got the Whole World, and made a new arrangement of it. It was a really awesome performance. Very bluesy and cool. All I needed was a rum and coke. Funny... they don't serve them here!

I want to tell you a little about 'group singing'. We do this for 3 hours a day. We have a book of 'convention' songs, which are all Southern gospel songs, old and new, written in four part harmony. The melodies are simple, but the harmonies are complex, often breaking into counterpoint. For the un-musically minded, that means that everyone is singing something completely different, all at the same time. They are not long songs, but very wordy, and sometimes very fast. So in group singing, we sight-read these songs, and as the week goes on, we are starting to polish some pieces. It's a great sight-reading group, so the work is good. Imagine a choir of 250 singers, all singing four part harmony. That's what I get to do 3 hours a day.

Next week, Ben will bring in his recording stuff and we'll cut a cd of 10-12 of the pieces. Can't wait for that!

I must go to bed soon, but I'm still struggling with my songwriting assignment. I've done it correctly six times, but my lyrics are crap {excuse my language!}. So, I'm off to struggle with it some more before I go to sleep.

Oh, one more thing - I've met a singer/accompanist who's going to play for me, but she's also asked if I'd try singing some of her songs! Cool! And that's why I came - to learn, to meet other musicians, and to get better at what I do. Amen!

Nashville - Day 2

Another long and vibrant day.

First, I must make a comment on the food. Yes Mom, I'm eating lots and eating well, but food is different down here. I've never seen so much deep-fried food in my life! They deep-fry everything! Every meal is deep-fried! It's really quite incredible and oddly impressive. Also, at every meal, I need to ask someone, "What's that?". I've had okra, chicken-fried steak (which has nothing to do with chicken) and some breakfast thing that no one seemed to have a name for, but everyone knew what it was!

I think I'm finally learning how chords work! I have an awesome theory teacher named Jack Clark, and he's so passionate about theory and music composition. My brain was ringing by the end of today's class, but I think it's making sense.

I also had my first song-writing lesson today. We discussed some tools for the beginning song-writer, and then he gave me an assignment. I have to write a verse and chorus of lyrics for the next class. He's given me a very strict structure for rhyme and rhythm. My theme is "heaven". It's a practice song, so don't ask to see it. - Unless I do something brilliant and then I'll show everyone.

Tonight's concert was amazing - Ben Speer, Mike Allen, and Allison Durham Speer. I, of course, burned up my Visa buying cds.

I'm now off to bed. I don't know how I'm going to get used to these early mornings. My bedtime is now 11:00. Crazy!

Nashville - Day 1

I'm so tired and so excited and today feels like it was four days long.

We started at 7am - yes, AM - with breakfast, and devotions at 8am with Faye Speer.
Our first class was theory and sight-singing. We have this class twice a day for a total of 3 hours. This is the shape-note singing. I'm still quite confused, so more on this at a later date.

Then we have electives, so today I chose Performance Training with Allison Durham Speer. I'm a huge fan of Allison and she's the one I really wanted to work with. So when she asked who wanted to sing, my foolish hand jumped up in the air. I sang Peace in the Valley, acapella. I was nervous, it being so early and all, but it went well. Then she gave me great feedback, both positive and critical. It was so amazing! Here I am, singing for this amazing performer, and she's helping to train me. Me! I got a lot of lovely comments from other students throughout the day. The Canadian is making her mark!
{Actually, there are 2 great women here from Alberta as well. We're the foreigners in the group!}

After lunch, there was more theory, and then my first voice lesson. I get five 30-minute lessons, and I want to use this time to delve into genre and style.

Then we had group singing, which is also several hours a day. But when we sight read a song, we are not to sing La-La-La. Oh no! We sing Do-Re-Mi! Oh my! I haven't looked at that stuff since Vanier Elementary. Very confusing and crazy! This is that shape-note stuff, which I'm really hoping to explain later.

The music we do in group singing is "convention" music. Again, hoping to explain this later.

Then in the evening, we had a concert. We get a concert performed for us every night. Tonight was the inspiring Darlene Neptune, and the powerful Daryl Williams Trio. Daryl is my songwriting coach, and I get to work with him tomorrow.

The night ends with student performances. I stayed in the audience for tonight. I've been asked to join in a trio, so we'll probably do a song later on. I'd like to get the chance to do some solo work, and maybe one of my songs as well.

I, of course, intend to make use of every minute here. It's full of talented people, and everyone is very down to earth and accessible. There's a couple of hundred students, so it's not too many. And there are even whole families who've come here together.

It's all a little overwhelming, but I'm soooo glad I'm here!

Nashville - Orientation

I'm here! I'm at Ben Speer's Stamps-Baxter School of Music. Two weeks of learning the ins and outs of Southern Gospel singing.

It's been a long day. Rude customs agents, lost luggage, and all the rest. The airport in Atlanta is so big you need to take a train to get from one part to another.

The schedule is crazy! All day classes, with the emphasis on theory, ear training, and sight-reading, all in the "shape note" tradition. I'll be able to properly explain shape notes in a few days - I hope!

Awesome concerts every night, and vocal technique class every day - yes, EVERY day - with Allison Durham Speer! And my Gaither-fan-friends should know we have concerts coming up by Allison, Ben, Stephen Hill, and Anthony Burger.

But for tonight, I'm being the keener. I have my clothes unpacked and my books out on my desk. My bed is made and my alarm set for 6:30am. The pictures of Gerald and Sebastian are propped up by my copy of The Prophet.

I'm ready to work.

Between-the-music days

My days are filled with the preparation and recovery of music time.

I've had some great gigs in the last week. First there was the night with the orchestra at the Montreal Bistro. I can't believe we sold out the place. I sold out my dream venue! There were definitely some musical hitches, but it was still an amazing and dreamy night. We played the Toronto Street Festival on Sunday. The music gets stronger each time we perform.

And now I'm getting ready to go to Nashville. Two weeks of singing and writing and learning and networking and God knows what else. I've never done anything like this before. I'm incredibly excited, but if honesty shines through, I will have to admit that I'm slightly terrified as well.

I know the next few weeks will affect me tremendously. I promise myself to be open to whatever challenges, changes, and experiences come before me.