15 years ago today, I said Yes.
Quite frankly, I never even wanted to be asked the question.
For years, I’d pushed back, given into resistance.
My Dad was the minister. I saw the tolls of church life, the stresses of church politics,
the frustrations of church prejudices.
Nope. Not me. I didn’t want any part of it.
Every time I’d feel God starting to move in around my music, I’d say,
“Great! Glad you’re here! Here’s what you can do for me…”
I had no intention of surrendering. I was in control of my future, my dreams. I could see the kind of glamorous, artistic life that I wanted to live, and it looked nothing, nothing like a churchy life.
But 15 years ago, I heard God call me into full-time music ministry, and I said Yes.
Not just Yes, but
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
I said Yes in a way that completely turned my world upside-down and inside-out. That should be utter confusion and yet, it made more sense than anything I’d ever done in my whole life. All the things I’d ever created or learned or experienced somehow, magically, mysteriously lined up into this perfect moment.
So the journey began. First, with steps to change the career I’d been building over the previous decade - learning a new kind of artistic expression and a way of bridging my worlds of music and church.
Second, with moving to Nashville with my incredibly support, brand-new husband. Who knew that by the time we’d come home to Canada, Gerald would have also said Yes to that same calling, sparking the first embers of Infinitely More.
Step by step, song by song, a ministry has grown.
Who knew that Yes could lead to this?
8 albums. 15 national nominations. 2 awards. 10 years of touring. Hundreds of songs. Thousands of kilometres. Countless moments of prayers, laughter, fellowship, worship, and beauty.
It’s not lost on me that I mark this day in the middle of a global pandemic that’s brought our touring ministry to a standstill. What does God have to say to us on this particular anniversary date?
When I started out as a very young singer and actor, I had all kind of plans and dreams. When I said Yes to God’s calling, I laid all that aside.
But here’s the amazing thing:
I’ve never felt that following God’s path
has ever meant giving up my own plans and dreams.
Don’t get me wrong: I’ve sacrificed a lot for this life of ministry. It’s hard, exhausting, often misunderstood work. We spend months away from family, friends, and all the comforts of home. We live with a higher-than-normal level of insecurity and instability. I can’t think of any part of our lives that is unaffected by this ministry.
And yet, it’s never really felt like we’re giving up anything.
I’ve never felt God saying No to any of my dreams.
Instead, I feel He’s turned me towards a Greater Yes.
Yes, to traveling, touring, and bringing music and light to all corners of this beautiful country.
Yes, to worshiping in churches of all shapes and sizes, and seeing the power of God work through a myriad of styles and expressions.
Yes, to boundless art, writing, beauty, and creativity.
Yes, to witnessing the transformative, redemptive miracle of God's love and grace moving through ordinary people.
Yes, to our tiny family of marriage, puppies, and a family who’s willing to postpone holiday celebrations until we’re back in our home province.
It’s strange how, over the years, so many of my original dreams have come true, just not in the way that I had originally imagined.
And in many cases, I’ve even had dreams come true that I didn’t even know were my dreams to begin with! Amazing things that happen, and all I can think is, “I wasn’t seeking that, and yet, I somehow think I’ve wanted that my whole life”.
Is this what they mean by “God moves in mysterious ways”?
15 Years of Yes.
I stand here today, so very thankful for every moment of the journey, so far…
I’m grateful for every person who has joined me on this adventure, with the most generous gratitude reserved for Mom, Dad, and Gerald. None of this happens or makes sense without the three of you and your love.
I still have so many dreams, so many goals, so many things I want to create and experience in this world. 15 years in and I’m hungrier than ever for God’s voice, God’s calling, and God’s music.
So I will continue to say Yes.
And I will continue to give glory to God, trusting that His power,
working in us, can do Infinitely More than we can ask or imagine.
Amen.
Here’s to the next 15…
I captured that original night, 15 years ago, right here on this blog.
You can read my post from that night HERE.