Week two of my Alpha adventure, and we're already into the tough stuff.
Tonight's topic: Why did Jesus die?
Well, my first answer was, "Cause we all gots to die!", but I was guessing this wouldn't be acceptable in our spiritual discussion. So many tough questions around this topic. It's not simply why did He die, but why like that? Why so graphic? And why are we so obsessed with it? The gospels are one-third filled with the story of His death, and the rest of the New Testament is trying to explain that death. I've always been confused with our obsession with the death of Jesus, when we also have this miraculous story of his triumph over death. He was raised from the dead! Why don't we concentrate on that more?
Why do we concentrate so much on the death of Jesus? We love the crucifix and the gory details. Is it simply because we are obsessed with the darker side of life? Are we just rubber-necking at the crucifixion? I think it's important to know the physical details of the crucifixion because we tend to sanitize the whole event. We make the figure on the cross into jewelry and key chains. We tend to gloss over the blood and water and screaming pain in favour of poetry and polish. We're not a culture that has any personal experience with crucifixion. I think we need to hear these details so we have some idea what Jesus was physically experiencing.
Why would God treat His son this way? Well ... what if it has nothing to do with Jesus? What if the whole point was to get to us? What if God thought, "I need to get to these humans. Nothing I'm doing is really working, but maybe if I try something really dramatic, with lots of blood and guts. Maybe then they'll listen." Yes, I'm oversimplifying. But perhaps God was looking for an event that he knew we'd be obsessed with. Maybe that was his way of keeping it in our consciousness. Two thousand years later and we're still trying to figure it out.
Nicky Gumbel, the host of the videos, mentions that with other world leaders, we always remember their life and contributions. But with Jesus, the thing we talk about the most is His death. Why is that? My theory is that He was bigger than simply a world leader: He was a pop-culture leader. I don't mean pop-culture in the MTV type of way. I mean a leader of popular culture. He was a man of the general population. Yes, he was known by the learned folk, but He was just as known, perhaps even better known, by the common person. We often debate where Jesus would appear if He came today. Don't we all think He'd access television? It's the best way to reach the masses. It's not just that He was known by the common folk. He wanted to be known by them. By us! He wanted to be in the popular realm. Not to win some ego points. I believe it was so that He could show us that God is available to, and loves, all people.
For a long time, I had a huge personal problem with the crucifixion. Every time someone would talk about Jesus giving up His life for us, I would equate it with suicide. I couldn't see it as anything else. Now, I'm far enough out of my grief to see it in a clearer light. I can't say it's brought me more answers, but I can now say that I know that the crucifixion is a positive and loving event. I would even go so far as to call it generous
I know I have a lot of questions, and as I write, more are coming in to my head. And I know my discussions aren't actually making a lot of sense. But I'm just stumbling through and trying to figure things out. That's one of the things I'm really appreciating about Alpha. All questions are valid. All view are welcome. Even the stumbling ones.
My husband, Gerald, and I are worship leaders and form the Christian music duo, Infinitely More. Our home is full of puppies and songs. I started this blog in 2005 to track the ups and downs of living life as an artist.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Gospel Vespers
What a great day! Lots of great music, new starts, and God was in it all.
This morning, we tried a new thing at church. It was a healing service, which includes a time when members of the congregation can come up to the altar for anointing and laying-on-of-hands. Usually, the choir will sing something soft and lovely during this time. Well, Dad thought it might be nice to have just piano music during the healing, and then have special music after. That way, everyone, healers included, could hear the message of the choir's song. Today, we started this new format, but instead of having a choir song, Gerald sang our new song, God is There.
I was so nervous! Partly for Gerald (now I know how my Mom feels when I sing) and partly for the song. I just wanted people to feel ... I don't know. Just something. The words came from such a deeply personal place, and I guess I just wanted them to mean something to someone else as well. At the end of the healing, Boni drifted off the piano, and the guitar came in - quietly, softly, with that beautiful intro that Gerald has written. "When the nightmare can't be silenced, God is there". I took a deep breath. I had to close my eyes. Otherwise, I found myself looking at people for their reactions, and I really didn't want to do that. I closed my eyes and just listened. It was so beautiful. Gerald played with an open heart and a full soul. The words were clear and perfect. When he reached the ending, there was silence. That full awesome silence of a message truly imparted. The service continued into prayers and communion.
After the service, the reaction was tremendous. People loved being able to hear the music. They adored Gerald - his voice, his playing, his presence. But mostly, they loved the song. They loved the song! I was so excited and so proud. More than ever, I feel this song must go out to people. I want to do a demo and just start getting it out to artists. I want it recorded and sung. I want people to know that even in the darkest times, God is there. God is there.
This afternoon, brought another new experience - Gospel Vespers. Some time last year, Dad said he was interested in starting a new evening service that incorporated gospel music, and that allowed us to create a new kind of worship service. Something different from what we offer Sunday morning. Something that could appeal to church-goers, and those who might never have come to church. We formed a committee, got a small budget, and decided to offer a service once a month. My job was to find a different musical group for each service.
Today's service was based on the story of the Good Samaritan. Joy in the Morning gospel choir were our music leaders. They were great. A mix of folk, hymns, praise and worship, and taize. They had several singers, and a band consisting of guitar, bass, ukelele, clarinet, djembe, and several rhythm instruments. Their harmonies were subtle and confident. But their spirit is what impressed me most. They invited me to join in their prayer time before the service. It was genuine and moving. And their support for the service was very reassuring.
After an opening time of music, we had the lighting of the candles. We were inspired by the Good Samaritan, and lit three candles in honour of caregivers in our city, country, and the world. It was a quiet and contemplative part of the service. Of course, figuring out which candles to light and how to get the flame passed around was the most complicated part of choreographing the whole service. My candle was huge and placed on the altar, and ended up being to tall for me to light. So Dad needed to come out, lift it off the altar, and help me light it. Not such a contemplative moment!
We had more music, and a great welcome from our church warden. Then we had the message. Dad decided to do a dramatic interpretation of the story. Mom wheeled him out in a wheelchair. It was Mom's first, and probably last, appearance as preacher. (Not that she couldn't preach if she wanted to - she's just not a spotlight kind of gal!) Dad sat at the edge of the platform and let us take in the image. He then told us "his" story of how he got to be in the chair. How he had been traveling one day, and how he was attacked by robbers. How he had lain in a ditch, while a neighbour and a priest passed him by. But then this Samaritan came by, and cooled his head and soothed his wounds. Today is the day he will leave his wheelchair, and he is going to leave a changed man. This Samaritan had helped him, and now, he has taken a vow, a pledge, to always help those who are in need. Those suffering because of their own actions, and those suffering from the actions of others. Those in need from all levels of society. He then asked us, how we felt we could make the same pledge. How can we help those in need?
The choir then sang a song about helping our neighbours. Nancy, their director, then lead us in prayer. Again, we were looking for something different here. We offer traditional intercessions every Sunday morning, so we wanted to try a new form. Or, at least, new for us. We decided we wanted to pray in a way that was a little more free form. Nancy would say a short prayer on a topic, and would then encourage us to add our own petitions. It was really moving. We then sang a few more songs, and ended on Joyful, Joyful.
What a great service! There were moments of joy, contemplation, music, and community. The reaction after the service was wonderful. And it was like no one wanted to leave. People stayed around for a good forty minutes after the service, just talking and sharing. What a great time!
I'm always proud of my Dad, but times like this are so amazing. This service was his brainchild, and I think today was a great success. Our next one is in October, and our choir will be the music leader. I'm just continuing to pray that God will bless our new venture, and that people will come and feel the Spirit moving in the house, and in themselves.
This morning, we tried a new thing at church. It was a healing service, which includes a time when members of the congregation can come up to the altar for anointing and laying-on-of-hands. Usually, the choir will sing something soft and lovely during this time. Well, Dad thought it might be nice to have just piano music during the healing, and then have special music after. That way, everyone, healers included, could hear the message of the choir's song. Today, we started this new format, but instead of having a choir song, Gerald sang our new song, God is There.
I was so nervous! Partly for Gerald (now I know how my Mom feels when I sing) and partly for the song. I just wanted people to feel ... I don't know. Just something. The words came from such a deeply personal place, and I guess I just wanted them to mean something to someone else as well. At the end of the healing, Boni drifted off the piano, and the guitar came in - quietly, softly, with that beautiful intro that Gerald has written. "When the nightmare can't be silenced, God is there". I took a deep breath. I had to close my eyes. Otherwise, I found myself looking at people for their reactions, and I really didn't want to do that. I closed my eyes and just listened. It was so beautiful. Gerald played with an open heart and a full soul. The words were clear and perfect. When he reached the ending, there was silence. That full awesome silence of a message truly imparted. The service continued into prayers and communion.
After the service, the reaction was tremendous. People loved being able to hear the music. They adored Gerald - his voice, his playing, his presence. But mostly, they loved the song. They loved the song! I was so excited and so proud. More than ever, I feel this song must go out to people. I want to do a demo and just start getting it out to artists. I want it recorded and sung. I want people to know that even in the darkest times, God is there. God is there.
This afternoon, brought another new experience - Gospel Vespers. Some time last year, Dad said he was interested in starting a new evening service that incorporated gospel music, and that allowed us to create a new kind of worship service. Something different from what we offer Sunday morning. Something that could appeal to church-goers, and those who might never have come to church. We formed a committee, got a small budget, and decided to offer a service once a month. My job was to find a different musical group for each service.
Today's service was based on the story of the Good Samaritan. Joy in the Morning gospel choir were our music leaders. They were great. A mix of folk, hymns, praise and worship, and taize. They had several singers, and a band consisting of guitar, bass, ukelele, clarinet, djembe, and several rhythm instruments. Their harmonies were subtle and confident. But their spirit is what impressed me most. They invited me to join in their prayer time before the service. It was genuine and moving. And their support for the service was very reassuring.
After an opening time of music, we had the lighting of the candles. We were inspired by the Good Samaritan, and lit three candles in honour of caregivers in our city, country, and the world. It was a quiet and contemplative part of the service. Of course, figuring out which candles to light and how to get the flame passed around was the most complicated part of choreographing the whole service. My candle was huge and placed on the altar, and ended up being to tall for me to light. So Dad needed to come out, lift it off the altar, and help me light it. Not such a contemplative moment!
We had more music, and a great welcome from our church warden. Then we had the message. Dad decided to do a dramatic interpretation of the story. Mom wheeled him out in a wheelchair. It was Mom's first, and probably last, appearance as preacher. (Not that she couldn't preach if she wanted to - she's just not a spotlight kind of gal!) Dad sat at the edge of the platform and let us take in the image. He then told us "his" story of how he got to be in the chair. How he had been traveling one day, and how he was attacked by robbers. How he had lain in a ditch, while a neighbour and a priest passed him by. But then this Samaritan came by, and cooled his head and soothed his wounds. Today is the day he will leave his wheelchair, and he is going to leave a changed man. This Samaritan had helped him, and now, he has taken a vow, a pledge, to always help those who are in need. Those suffering because of their own actions, and those suffering from the actions of others. Those in need from all levels of society. He then asked us, how we felt we could make the same pledge. How can we help those in need?
The choir then sang a song about helping our neighbours. Nancy, their director, then lead us in prayer. Again, we were looking for something different here. We offer traditional intercessions every Sunday morning, so we wanted to try a new form. Or, at least, new for us. We decided we wanted to pray in a way that was a little more free form. Nancy would say a short prayer on a topic, and would then encourage us to add our own petitions. It was really moving. We then sang a few more songs, and ended on Joyful, Joyful.
What a great service! There were moments of joy, contemplation, music, and community. The reaction after the service was wonderful. And it was like no one wanted to leave. People stayed around for a good forty minutes after the service, just talking and sharing. What a great time!
I'm always proud of my Dad, but times like this are so amazing. This service was his brainchild, and I think today was a great success. Our next one is in October, and our choir will be the music leader. I'm just continuing to pray that God will bless our new venture, and that people will come and feel the Spirit moving in the house, and in themselves.
The Gaithers in Toronto!
What an amazing night! Tonight, the Gaithers and all their Homecoming Friends visited Toronto - not simply for a concert - but for a live taping of a concert for their next Homecoming video! And, I had ninth row tickets!
I've seen their concerts before in this venue, the Air Canada Centre, so I did have some expectations. And I knew from my "chat" with Bill a few weeks ago that the concert would be staged in the round. I wondered how this would play on screen, because there is essentially no backdrop for the performers. They are surrounded by audience. There were four giant screens on which the audience could watch the show, and even that looked really good. They did lots of stuff with lighting the audience and the stage to give some great images. I think it will be a very different video, but interesting none the less.
So, tonight obeyed the first rule of shooting : Be prepared for long hours! Tonight's concert was six hours long. Six hours! In folding chairs! Like an indoor music festival. Just crazy. I really enjoyed it all, but that's cause I'm a Southern gospel junkie. You could tell it was just too long for a lot of people. Especially because a fair bit of the audience was, well, not so young. The energy of the crowd started to wane around Hour 5, but Bill is such an expert at programming and just making things run so smoothly. There was only one time they had to stop and start again. Amazing given the number of performers and songs on stage.
And, oh, the performers! Everyone was there. Seriously, it was all of your Homecoming friends. Bill was MC and sang with the GVB. The new GVB with Wes. What a great sound they have. It's easy to see why Bill is so excited about the new project. And they did a song featuring Marshall. It would be nice to hear him do a solo song some time. What a rich clear voice. Guy sang Why Me Lord. Very moving.
I'd never heard the Booth Brothers before, but their reputation preceded them. Now I know what all the fuss is about. Great harmony, but here is where I must say my only real complaint of the night - the sound was terrible! Balance was off, and words were muffled. I'm sure that will be cleaned up for video, but my $60 ticket really wanted good sound quality. The reason it comes up for the Booth Brothers is cause they sang with the band and were great, but then they sang acapella, and it was then that we could really hear the beauty of their voices. They did an awesome song with the hook, "Ask the blind man, he saw it all". Isn't that fabulous? I wish I'd found that!
The very pregnant Easters were wonderful, especially on the acapella Rivers of Babylon. Ivan Parker blew everyone away with I Can Only Imagine. Reggie and Lady Love Smith got a well deserved standing ovation with You Raise Me Up. Ben Speer, my new buddy, was awesome on Sheltered in the Arms. I love this song so much, and he delivers it with such simplicity. Joy Gardner took the roof off the place everytime she stepped up to sing. Linda Randle sang a few songs. It was warm and rich and inspiring everytime. Jesse Dixon started on the piano. Not shouting and dancing, just playing and humming. He sang Make Me a Sanctuary. So soulful. So awesome. After that, he sang another song and broke out his dancing shoes. The crowd loved him before he even touched the stage. But he kept the focus on God. He's like a rock star when he's up there, and yet his intention towards God is so clear. Russ Taff has that kind of energy too. He did a Gaithers song with the Isaacs. Such a great combination of all their talents. The Hoppers did several songs, including Jerusalem. I think my mom has become a Hoppers' fan. Good choice.
Stephen Hill did a solo and was wonderful. I had the chance to talk to him after the show and he remembered me from school. Such a great and supportive guy. I tried to find Ben to talk to him, but I could never find him. I did manage to catch his attention at intermission and we waved. I did, however, get to see and chat with Mike Allen. I really wish he'd been able to do a full solo. But we had a great little chat, and I gave him a copy of my cd.
Larry Ford did some great songs, including a hymn written by a woman from Ontario. Boni wrote down the name of it, so I imagine it will show up soon in choir.
I have to admit, there were a lot of newer songs in the program. We were expecting that, because of the taping, but it does mean that I don't remember all the names of the songs.
There was a lot of audience singing, as usual, and it was really great. It was like everyone did a warm-up before coming to the show. Voices were strong, and in our section, several people were singing harmony. So beautiful, especially in those parts where Bill just got the audience to repeat a chorus acapella. Thousands of people praising God in a sports arena. What a blessing!
Tonight, I got to see Mark Lowry live, and he was wonderful. He sang the title track from Some Things Never Change, and that was great to hear, and he did his comedy thing with Bill. I must say, though, he sort of disappeared after the first half. I mean, he was there and all, just not up in a solo position.
And my favorite part was finally getting to see Gloria. This is my third Gaither concert and my first Gloria sighting. She did two beautiful recitations. I could just listen to her speak all day. I have this dream of sitting down for an afternoon with her and chatting about words and songs and other good stuff.
And I have a new favorite group: Ernie Haase and signature Sound. I'd heard little bits of their music, but, oh my!, nothing beats them in person. If you haven't seen or heard them yet, then I highly recommend you do a little research and find a cd or a video or something. Their songs and arrangements are great, and each piece highlights the great voices in the group. And their stage presence is incredible. Seriously - incredible! They are all over the stage, and are having a great time. They do small bits of choreography, which I've heard the purists hate, but I thought it was imaginative and fun. I guess that's my music theatre side shining through. I bought their cd. I'm going to listen to it and dance around!
I'm a great lover of the Isaacs, and they did not disappoint. They did lots of great stuff, including a tight arrangement of It Is Well. It started with two fiddles in close harmony, then the solo voice, then harmony voices. After the first verse, the fiddles dropped out, and it was just voices, ending on incredible harmonies. I'm sure it will be a highlight of the video. They also did Your's and Mine, which is a great song of their's. Bought yet another of their cds.
The first part of the concert was mostly solos, and then they did the group "homecoming" thing in the second half. Apparently, this will be the opening of the show. It's going to be really interesting to see how they cut it and what makes it into the final versions. I believe there will be two videos made from tonight's show.
One of the interesting technical things came from the teleprompters. Most of the lyrics were posted there, and we had a clear view from our seats. But something got messed up in the second half, and they often had the wrong lyrics up. You'd see our Homecoming Friends with very confused expressions and microphones, not singing. Pretty sure that won't make the video.
My respect for Bill Gaither rose, yet again, tonight. It was such a huge program with amazingly complicated technical requirements, artistic challenges, and huge logistics. And still, it was spiritual. God was in that place. It was beautiful and awesome. And I did everything I knew I would do tonight - I laughed, I cried, I sang, and I felt the presence of God.
And, of course, I had to take a minute while I was there to raise a prayer of thanks. God's plan for me is being revealed on a daily basis, and I am so excited by it. Tonight, I got to watch SG artists at the top of their game. It was inspiring and awesome. I just want the things I do to be so good, in music and in spirituality.
And again, I say, "Yes, Lord".
I've seen their concerts before in this venue, the Air Canada Centre, so I did have some expectations. And I knew from my "chat" with Bill a few weeks ago that the concert would be staged in the round. I wondered how this would play on screen, because there is essentially no backdrop for the performers. They are surrounded by audience. There were four giant screens on which the audience could watch the show, and even that looked really good. They did lots of stuff with lighting the audience and the stage to give some great images. I think it will be a very different video, but interesting none the less.
So, tonight obeyed the first rule of shooting : Be prepared for long hours! Tonight's concert was six hours long. Six hours! In folding chairs! Like an indoor music festival. Just crazy. I really enjoyed it all, but that's cause I'm a Southern gospel junkie. You could tell it was just too long for a lot of people. Especially because a fair bit of the audience was, well, not so young. The energy of the crowd started to wane around Hour 5, but Bill is such an expert at programming and just making things run so smoothly. There was only one time they had to stop and start again. Amazing given the number of performers and songs on stage.
And, oh, the performers! Everyone was there. Seriously, it was all of your Homecoming friends. Bill was MC and sang with the GVB. The new GVB with Wes. What a great sound they have. It's easy to see why Bill is so excited about the new project. And they did a song featuring Marshall. It would be nice to hear him do a solo song some time. What a rich clear voice. Guy sang Why Me Lord. Very moving.
I'd never heard the Booth Brothers before, but their reputation preceded them. Now I know what all the fuss is about. Great harmony, but here is where I must say my only real complaint of the night - the sound was terrible! Balance was off, and words were muffled. I'm sure that will be cleaned up for video, but my $60 ticket really wanted good sound quality. The reason it comes up for the Booth Brothers is cause they sang with the band and were great, but then they sang acapella, and it was then that we could really hear the beauty of their voices. They did an awesome song with the hook, "Ask the blind man, he saw it all". Isn't that fabulous? I wish I'd found that!
The very pregnant Easters were wonderful, especially on the acapella Rivers of Babylon. Ivan Parker blew everyone away with I Can Only Imagine. Reggie and Lady Love Smith got a well deserved standing ovation with You Raise Me Up. Ben Speer, my new buddy, was awesome on Sheltered in the Arms. I love this song so much, and he delivers it with such simplicity. Joy Gardner took the roof off the place everytime she stepped up to sing. Linda Randle sang a few songs. It was warm and rich and inspiring everytime. Jesse Dixon started on the piano. Not shouting and dancing, just playing and humming. He sang Make Me a Sanctuary. So soulful. So awesome. After that, he sang another song and broke out his dancing shoes. The crowd loved him before he even touched the stage. But he kept the focus on God. He's like a rock star when he's up there, and yet his intention towards God is so clear. Russ Taff has that kind of energy too. He did a Gaithers song with the Isaacs. Such a great combination of all their talents. The Hoppers did several songs, including Jerusalem. I think my mom has become a Hoppers' fan. Good choice.
Stephen Hill did a solo and was wonderful. I had the chance to talk to him after the show and he remembered me from school. Such a great and supportive guy. I tried to find Ben to talk to him, but I could never find him. I did manage to catch his attention at intermission and we waved. I did, however, get to see and chat with Mike Allen. I really wish he'd been able to do a full solo. But we had a great little chat, and I gave him a copy of my cd.
Larry Ford did some great songs, including a hymn written by a woman from Ontario. Boni wrote down the name of it, so I imagine it will show up soon in choir.
I have to admit, there were a lot of newer songs in the program. We were expecting that, because of the taping, but it does mean that I don't remember all the names of the songs.
There was a lot of audience singing, as usual, and it was really great. It was like everyone did a warm-up before coming to the show. Voices were strong, and in our section, several people were singing harmony. So beautiful, especially in those parts where Bill just got the audience to repeat a chorus acapella. Thousands of people praising God in a sports arena. What a blessing!
Tonight, I got to see Mark Lowry live, and he was wonderful. He sang the title track from Some Things Never Change, and that was great to hear, and he did his comedy thing with Bill. I must say, though, he sort of disappeared after the first half. I mean, he was there and all, just not up in a solo position.
And my favorite part was finally getting to see Gloria. This is my third Gaither concert and my first Gloria sighting. She did two beautiful recitations. I could just listen to her speak all day. I have this dream of sitting down for an afternoon with her and chatting about words and songs and other good stuff.
And I have a new favorite group: Ernie Haase and signature Sound. I'd heard little bits of their music, but, oh my!, nothing beats them in person. If you haven't seen or heard them yet, then I highly recommend you do a little research and find a cd or a video or something. Their songs and arrangements are great, and each piece highlights the great voices in the group. And their stage presence is incredible. Seriously - incredible! They are all over the stage, and are having a great time. They do small bits of choreography, which I've heard the purists hate, but I thought it was imaginative and fun. I guess that's my music theatre side shining through. I bought their cd. I'm going to listen to it and dance around!
I'm a great lover of the Isaacs, and they did not disappoint. They did lots of great stuff, including a tight arrangement of It Is Well. It started with two fiddles in close harmony, then the solo voice, then harmony voices. After the first verse, the fiddles dropped out, and it was just voices, ending on incredible harmonies. I'm sure it will be a highlight of the video. They also did Your's and Mine, which is a great song of their's. Bought yet another of their cds.
The first part of the concert was mostly solos, and then they did the group "homecoming" thing in the second half. Apparently, this will be the opening of the show. It's going to be really interesting to see how they cut it and what makes it into the final versions. I believe there will be two videos made from tonight's show.
One of the interesting technical things came from the teleprompters. Most of the lyrics were posted there, and we had a clear view from our seats. But something got messed up in the second half, and they often had the wrong lyrics up. You'd see our Homecoming Friends with very confused expressions and microphones, not singing. Pretty sure that won't make the video.
My respect for Bill Gaither rose, yet again, tonight. It was such a huge program with amazingly complicated technical requirements, artistic challenges, and huge logistics. And still, it was spiritual. God was in that place. It was beautiful and awesome. And I did everything I knew I would do tonight - I laughed, I cried, I sang, and I felt the presence of God.
And, of course, I had to take a minute while I was there to raise a prayer of thanks. God's plan for me is being revealed on a daily basis, and I am so excited by it. Tonight, I got to watch SG artists at the top of their game. It was inspiring and awesome. I just want the things I do to be so good, in music and in spirituality.
And again, I say, "Yes, Lord".
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
ALPHA - Week One
I am taking Alpha, and tonight was our first night!
What is Alpha? No, it is not a sorority. (Gerald told me not to get a "hazing". Funny boy!) It's a course on Christianity, and it's designed for life-long Christians and for those who have never even stepped into a church. Most people I know have taken it and loved it, but I was never able to commit before. Well, it just seems like the perfect time to do it. I'm hoping to deepen my own understanding of my experience of being Christian, but I also want to open myself to new knowledge and opinions.
It's a ten week course, meeting once a week. We start with a meal, to build community. Then there is a 45 minute video, by former-lawyer-turned-preacher Nicky Gumbel. We then open the floor up to discussion, lead by one of several group leaders. In a larger group, we would break into little clusters for discussion. But there's only 15 of us, so the discussions will stay in the group as a whole. I like that. I think it may lead to a tighter group. We are all given a workbook which gives us optional work to do at home.
Tonight's lesson was "Who is Jesus?". The video started with historical evidence of Jesus, and talked about something called "textual criticism". This is a way that historians can determine the reliability of a piece of historical writing. It's based on when it was written, when the first copy was discovered, and how many copies exist. By this analysis, the Bible actually stands up pretty firmly as a historical document, meaning that we can look at info in it as fact and not simply myth. So, if we follow this, what can we determine about Jesus and his life?
Nicky then offers lots of evidence towards the concept of Jesus as God. And he bases it on the opening lines of the Gospel of John. Way too much info to get into here, but needless to say, it lead to a lot of discussion. It's amazing how much we all have in common - our questions, our doubts, the things we want to discover about God.
Our leader asked a great question: If you met Jesus, what would you ask him? Note: not God - Jesus. My question ended up being: Why did you even bother to come at all? What was the point? Obviously, too big a question to answer in one night. There are lots of things to answer quickly - I came to save the world from sin. I came to live with you on earth. I came to provide an example of how to live a Godly life. But really, does that answer WHY Jesus had to come at all? Didn't God think He was doing a good enough job on His own? He had appeared in many forms before - burning bush, clouds, etc. Why a human being? And why then? And why there? So much to consider. How am I going to cover all this in 10 weeks?
Alpha has become a world-wide phenomenon, bridging languages and denominations. Tonight, it has put my brain into a spin. I think I'm in for quite a journey.
One more interesting thing from today:
I've started mailing out copies of I Am Waiting Here For You. I've sent 2 copies to music people in Nashville. Those envelopes are smothered in prayer!
What is Alpha? No, it is not a sorority. (Gerald told me not to get a "hazing". Funny boy!) It's a course on Christianity, and it's designed for life-long Christians and for those who have never even stepped into a church. Most people I know have taken it and loved it, but I was never able to commit before. Well, it just seems like the perfect time to do it. I'm hoping to deepen my own understanding of my experience of being Christian, but I also want to open myself to new knowledge and opinions.
It's a ten week course, meeting once a week. We start with a meal, to build community. Then there is a 45 minute video, by former-lawyer-turned-preacher Nicky Gumbel. We then open the floor up to discussion, lead by one of several group leaders. In a larger group, we would break into little clusters for discussion. But there's only 15 of us, so the discussions will stay in the group as a whole. I like that. I think it may lead to a tighter group. We are all given a workbook which gives us optional work to do at home.
Tonight's lesson was "Who is Jesus?". The video started with historical evidence of Jesus, and talked about something called "textual criticism". This is a way that historians can determine the reliability of a piece of historical writing. It's based on when it was written, when the first copy was discovered, and how many copies exist. By this analysis, the Bible actually stands up pretty firmly as a historical document, meaning that we can look at info in it as fact and not simply myth. So, if we follow this, what can we determine about Jesus and his life?
Nicky then offers lots of evidence towards the concept of Jesus as God. And he bases it on the opening lines of the Gospel of John. Way too much info to get into here, but needless to say, it lead to a lot of discussion. It's amazing how much we all have in common - our questions, our doubts, the things we want to discover about God.
Our leader asked a great question: If you met Jesus, what would you ask him? Note: not God - Jesus. My question ended up being: Why did you even bother to come at all? What was the point? Obviously, too big a question to answer in one night. There are lots of things to answer quickly - I came to save the world from sin. I came to live with you on earth. I came to provide an example of how to live a Godly life. But really, does that answer WHY Jesus had to come at all? Didn't God think He was doing a good enough job on His own? He had appeared in many forms before - burning bush, clouds, etc. Why a human being? And why then? And why there? So much to consider. How am I going to cover all this in 10 weeks?
Alpha has become a world-wide phenomenon, bridging languages and denominations. Tonight, it has put my brain into a spin. I think I'm in for quite a journey.
One more interesting thing from today:
I've started mailing out copies of I Am Waiting Here For You. I've sent 2 copies to music people in Nashville. Those envelopes are smothered in prayer!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Prayers for music.
It's late and I'm teaching in the morning, but I guess I just want to throw a little prayer into the air.
I've finished harmonizing and editing Welcome to Bethlehem. It's been written out over two pages, like a convention song. And I've added a few new touches to the harmonies. Today, I filled out an application and submitted it into a Christmas carol writing contest. It's a choral contest, and I think my song will be unique in the competition. But we always know that unique doesn't always win.
My goal is simply to expose the song to more people and more musicians. But of course, the greatest exposure will come with a prize. So here's the Christian dilemma - Is is wrong to pray for a win?
Some will say that Christ wants us to have a successful life. Some will argue for modesty and humility. Some will say that if God is in this song, it will get out to people regardless of a win or a loss.
I guess, I'm just saying a prayer of thanks for the song itself. And a prayer that lots of people can hear it.
Okay..... But I'll be completely honest: It would be sooo exciting to win!
I've finished harmonizing and editing Welcome to Bethlehem. It's been written out over two pages, like a convention song. And I've added a few new touches to the harmonies. Today, I filled out an application and submitted it into a Christmas carol writing contest. It's a choral contest, and I think my song will be unique in the competition. But we always know that unique doesn't always win.
My goal is simply to expose the song to more people and more musicians. But of course, the greatest exposure will come with a prize. So here's the Christian dilemma - Is is wrong to pray for a win?
Some will say that Christ wants us to have a successful life. Some will argue for modesty and humility. Some will say that if God is in this song, it will get out to people regardless of a win or a loss.
I guess, I'm just saying a prayer of thanks for the song itself. And a prayer that lots of people can hear it.
Okay..... But I'll be completely honest: It would be sooo exciting to win!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
A new demo!
It's very late, but we've had a great day. Leo came over tonight for a time of wine and music. We introduced him to Eva Cassidy. What a gift she was to all of us! I remember when Gerald first played her music for me. Everytime I was upset after that, all I wanted was to hear Fields of Gold. How can a voice be so pretty and so raw, all at the same time?
Today was a great music day for me. Brent Setterington and I finally recorded the demo for I Am Waiting Here For You. That's the song I wrote at Stamps-Baxter. Brent is an awesome producer who mostly does pop, but he's also a Christian with a great interest in gospel music. He was also the producer for my first cd. ("first" implies, of course, that there will be a second!)Daryl Williams and I did a rough demo when I was at school, but I wanted something solid I can put on my site and send to other artists. I definitely want to sing it myself, but I'd love for someone else to record it. I think I have my dream list of artists I'd like to record it - Allison Durham Speer, Gaither Vocal Band, Josh Groban, Karen Peck, to name a few.
I wanted to wait for Brent to come back from England, and it was worth the wait. When I thought about who I wanted to play piano and record the demo, Brent was my first choice, and I was right. His playing is a perfect marriage with the song. We spent several hours working on the arrangement. I wanted to keep the simplicity of the arrangement Daryl played, but I also wanted Brent to add his own creativity. He really likes the song, which is so thrilling! Very few people have heard this one yet, but the reaction has been really good. I really feel that this song was a gift from God, so I hope I can get it out to lots of people. I feel like that's my responsibility with it.
After working out the arrangement, we did three takes. We recorded together, but on separate tracks to allow for some edits. I was really happy with the third take, so we used that one, with just a few little edits. Brent had some great things to say about my voice and how it's growing. I'm also feeling much more confident in the studio, and that's showing too. So good to know that my work is showing results!
The demo is now done and I'm really pleased with it. It really is a songwriter's demo - very simple, just voice and piano, no fancy effects - It's a good performance, and it shows the song really well. So exciting!
Now, the next challenge: To get it out there...
Today was a great music day for me. Brent Setterington and I finally recorded the demo for I Am Waiting Here For You. That's the song I wrote at Stamps-Baxter. Brent is an awesome producer who mostly does pop, but he's also a Christian with a great interest in gospel music. He was also the producer for my first cd. ("first" implies, of course, that there will be a second!)Daryl Williams and I did a rough demo when I was at school, but I wanted something solid I can put on my site and send to other artists. I definitely want to sing it myself, but I'd love for someone else to record it. I think I have my dream list of artists I'd like to record it - Allison Durham Speer, Gaither Vocal Band, Josh Groban, Karen Peck, to name a few.
I wanted to wait for Brent to come back from England, and it was worth the wait. When I thought about who I wanted to play piano and record the demo, Brent was my first choice, and I was right. His playing is a perfect marriage with the song. We spent several hours working on the arrangement. I wanted to keep the simplicity of the arrangement Daryl played, but I also wanted Brent to add his own creativity. He really likes the song, which is so thrilling! Very few people have heard this one yet, but the reaction has been really good. I really feel that this song was a gift from God, so I hope I can get it out to lots of people. I feel like that's my responsibility with it.
After working out the arrangement, we did three takes. We recorded together, but on separate tracks to allow for some edits. I was really happy with the third take, so we used that one, with just a few little edits. Brent had some great things to say about my voice and how it's growing. I'm also feeling much more confident in the studio, and that's showing too. So good to know that my work is showing results!
The demo is now done and I'm really pleased with it. It really is a songwriter's demo - very simple, just voice and piano, no fancy effects - It's a good performance, and it shows the song really well. So exciting!
Now, the next challenge: To get it out there...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Hearing my song.
I brought Welcome to Bethlehem to the church choir today.
First of all, how awesome to be back singing with the choir! It was great to worship with the church and with that great music I love so much. Of course, since it was our first Sunday together in months, there were a few 'hiccups'. But all disasters were avoided, and the service was very inspiring.
At the end of rehearsal, I gave out copies of the SATB arrangement of Welcome to Bethlehem. I was so nervous for everyone to sing it! I don't know why, exactly. I guess I just wanted it to sound good and also for it to be easy to sing for everyone. Just a little back-stage-fright, I guess. But my fears were wasted. (Isn't fear usually wasted?) It works! Again, it's not incredibly intricate harmonies or anything like that. But it is good, solid SATB harmonies that work well and sound good. And I like the way the song sounds too. It's definitely an ensemble song and not a solo.
My next job is to learn how to edit it. I had the bars too close together, and with all the eighth notes and wordy text, it was a little hard to read.
Oh, and I have a new tune. I think it's going to be a lullaby. The words haven't come yet, but I think that's where it's going.
First of all, how awesome to be back singing with the choir! It was great to worship with the church and with that great music I love so much. Of course, since it was our first Sunday together in months, there were a few 'hiccups'. But all disasters were avoided, and the service was very inspiring.
At the end of rehearsal, I gave out copies of the SATB arrangement of Welcome to Bethlehem. I was so nervous for everyone to sing it! I don't know why, exactly. I guess I just wanted it to sound good and also for it to be easy to sing for everyone. Just a little back-stage-fright, I guess. But my fears were wasted. (Isn't fear usually wasted?) It works! Again, it's not incredibly intricate harmonies or anything like that. But it is good, solid SATB harmonies that work well and sound good. And I like the way the song sounds too. It's definitely an ensemble song and not a solo.
My next job is to learn how to edit it. I had the bars too close together, and with all the eighth notes and wordy text, it was a little hard to read.
Oh, and I have a new tune. I think it's going to be a lullaby. The words haven't come yet, but I think that's where it's going.
Music all the days.
I'm wishing I'd gotten to a computer to blog earlier than this. So much has been happening over the past few days, and I'm just hoping I can remember it all now.
It's sooo awesome to have Gerald home! For the obvious we're-in-love-and-planning-a-wedding reasons, but for artsy reasons as well.
My last entry mentioned that I stayed up and wrote one and a half songs:
GOD IS THERE
I decided to read the half-lyric to Gerald to get his opinion. I really thought it needed tonnes of in-depth research and study to make it emotional and poetic. Well, I think I was wrong. I started at the beginning (sing - a very good place to start!) and by the second verse, Gerald had his guitar in his hands. He started playing a few chords. I didn't have a tune written, but I knew the feel I wanted, and he was playing it! He started to sing the words. The tune fell in easily, and soon, we were singing the song! When we hit the third verse, we found 2 lines that needed to be re-written. I went away and did that, but otherwise, the song is exactly as it came out on that first night. See? How can you say songs are not a gift from God? I'm not that good. I couldn't just write something that instantly connects with people were it not for the Master Creator.
So, as we started to play with the tune and finding the correct key, something became really clear. This is not a song for me to sing! "What?", says my Inner Diva. "Every song is for me to sing!" Yes, but apparently not this one. As Ger sang it, his soul opened up. He found phrasing and nuance I couldn't even imagine. Every other song we've co-written has been for me to sing, but not this one. This one is his, and I couldn't be happier about it. Seriously. Even my Inner Diva is smiling. And I can actually hear lots of people singing this song. Gospel singers for sure, but country singers and folk singers and pop singers too. I think it approaches God in a universal, non-denominational way. And I don't mean that watered-down God we like to present to the masses. This is a God who cares and offers love and hope in the darkest conditions. We're recording a demo and will post it on my site as soon as it's done. I think this is a song that needs to be heard.
Funny - now that Gerald is the vocalist on the song, I feel just separated enough that I can jump on the bandwagon and yell, "Hey, come listen to this!"
WELCOME TO BETHLEHEM
The Christmas carol provided its own struggles for the week. First, I arranged the entire song in four part harmony - SATB. This is the first time I have done this since leaving school - sans supervision! It was a little nerve-wracking at times. I would write it, play it, screw-up my face, and rewrite it. In the end, I think it's okay. I can't say it's truly inspired harmony, but I think it's solid and workable.
I was going to bring it to choir rehearsal Thursday, but I left it at home! Arg! I'm bringing it tomorrow. I don't know if the choir would ever want to sing it. If so, big yay! But tomorrow, I'm simply asking them to be my test choir so I can hear what it sounds like and make any appropriate changes.
I'm also going to enter the Amadeus Christmas Carol contest. I may enter Welcome, or I may write a new tune for Joseph's Carol. They insist on new music, but not necessarily new words. Joseph's Carol is set to Faith of our Fathers, but I think the words are strong enough to warrant a new tune. But, I also came up with a new tune tonight that I think could be a unison lullaby? We'll see...
Oh, and I just found out about a new singers workshop Daywind is offering in October. How much would I love to go to that? It's probably just too cost prohibitive. Perhaps our next house should not be in the Beaches after all...
It's sooo awesome to have Gerald home! For the obvious we're-in-love-and-planning-a-wedding reasons, but for artsy reasons as well.
My last entry mentioned that I stayed up and wrote one and a half songs:
GOD IS THERE
I decided to read the half-lyric to Gerald to get his opinion. I really thought it needed tonnes of in-depth research and study to make it emotional and poetic. Well, I think I was wrong. I started at the beginning (sing - a very good place to start!) and by the second verse, Gerald had his guitar in his hands. He started playing a few chords. I didn't have a tune written, but I knew the feel I wanted, and he was playing it! He started to sing the words. The tune fell in easily, and soon, we were singing the song! When we hit the third verse, we found 2 lines that needed to be re-written. I went away and did that, but otherwise, the song is exactly as it came out on that first night. See? How can you say songs are not a gift from God? I'm not that good. I couldn't just write something that instantly connects with people were it not for the Master Creator.
So, as we started to play with the tune and finding the correct key, something became really clear. This is not a song for me to sing! "What?", says my Inner Diva. "Every song is for me to sing!" Yes, but apparently not this one. As Ger sang it, his soul opened up. He found phrasing and nuance I couldn't even imagine. Every other song we've co-written has been for me to sing, but not this one. This one is his, and I couldn't be happier about it. Seriously. Even my Inner Diva is smiling. And I can actually hear lots of people singing this song. Gospel singers for sure, but country singers and folk singers and pop singers too. I think it approaches God in a universal, non-denominational way. And I don't mean that watered-down God we like to present to the masses. This is a God who cares and offers love and hope in the darkest conditions. We're recording a demo and will post it on my site as soon as it's done. I think this is a song that needs to be heard.
Funny - now that Gerald is the vocalist on the song, I feel just separated enough that I can jump on the bandwagon and yell, "Hey, come listen to this!"
WELCOME TO BETHLEHEM
The Christmas carol provided its own struggles for the week. First, I arranged the entire song in four part harmony - SATB. This is the first time I have done this since leaving school - sans supervision! It was a little nerve-wracking at times. I would write it, play it, screw-up my face, and rewrite it. In the end, I think it's okay. I can't say it's truly inspired harmony, but I think it's solid and workable.
I was going to bring it to choir rehearsal Thursday, but I left it at home! Arg! I'm bringing it tomorrow. I don't know if the choir would ever want to sing it. If so, big yay! But tomorrow, I'm simply asking them to be my test choir so I can hear what it sounds like and make any appropriate changes.
I'm also going to enter the Amadeus Christmas Carol contest. I may enter Welcome, or I may write a new tune for Joseph's Carol. They insist on new music, but not necessarily new words. Joseph's Carol is set to Faith of our Fathers, but I think the words are strong enough to warrant a new tune. But, I also came up with a new tune tonight that I think could be a unison lullaby? We'll see...
Oh, and I just found out about a new singers workshop Daywind is offering in October. How much would I love to go to that? It's probably just too cost prohibitive. Perhaps our next house should not be in the Beaches after all...
Monday, September 05, 2005
A writing night.
The adventures in writing continue...
I stayed up very late last night and ended up writing almost two songs. The first song is the "almost". The bulk of it is done, but I want to go over it with a rhyming dictionary to make the images deeper and the text less obvious. It's inspired by my Dad's sermon yesterday. When he started to write his sermon, he was inspired by the hymn, "We are a race of travelers". He wanted to say how God is with us as we travel the world and life. But then Katrina hit, and how does that not find it's way into a sermon? We're all thinking about it, and, in simplest terms, travel is affected. But what about the awful traveling of people from hotel roof-tops into helicopters? What about the traveling of family members who are escaping the area to go to their homes in other states and countries? And, of course, what of the journeys ahead of those who have lost their jobs, their homes, their towns, their families? What "travels" are ahead of them? Dad talked about the Bible passage that tells us not to worry about clothes and food. God dresses the lilies of the field, and His eye in on the sparrow, so of course He's watching us. But when those families were sitting in those horrid sports domes, surrounded by garbage and violence, unsure of what tomorrow would hold, do you really think they cared about the lilies and sparrows? It would be a hard Bible verse to hear in that moment. And, yet, that was Dad's point. Sometimes, a Bible verse may not be what we want to hear, but we should try to keep it in front of us at all times - to know that God is always with us - to know that even when we are surrounded in darkness and racked with fear - God is there. We may not see Him. We may not feel Him. We may not even believe in Him. But God is there. God is always there.
How awesome is that?
So, that's the start of one song.
The second song is really exciting for me as I believe I have written my first real Southern Gospel song! It's a Christmas song called, "Welcome to Bethlehem". Rhythmically, it feels like a convention song, but I can't say that it's one for sure. But I absolutely hear it with quartet harmony. Sooo exciting! I didn't start out to write a Southern Gospel song, but I guess God was in my pen last night. I'm going to arrange it in four parts myself ( I'm so proud to be able to say that! ) and bring it to my choir rehearsal on Thursday. They'll be my "test group" - not just to see if they like it, but to see if my harmonies work out as well!
Oh, and it's pretty sure now - I'm going to attend the Write for Jesus conference. Very excited!
I stayed up very late last night and ended up writing almost two songs. The first song is the "almost". The bulk of it is done, but I want to go over it with a rhyming dictionary to make the images deeper and the text less obvious. It's inspired by my Dad's sermon yesterday. When he started to write his sermon, he was inspired by the hymn, "We are a race of travelers". He wanted to say how God is with us as we travel the world and life. But then Katrina hit, and how does that not find it's way into a sermon? We're all thinking about it, and, in simplest terms, travel is affected. But what about the awful traveling of people from hotel roof-tops into helicopters? What about the traveling of family members who are escaping the area to go to their homes in other states and countries? And, of course, what of the journeys ahead of those who have lost their jobs, their homes, their towns, their families? What "travels" are ahead of them? Dad talked about the Bible passage that tells us not to worry about clothes and food. God dresses the lilies of the field, and His eye in on the sparrow, so of course He's watching us. But when those families were sitting in those horrid sports domes, surrounded by garbage and violence, unsure of what tomorrow would hold, do you really think they cared about the lilies and sparrows? It would be a hard Bible verse to hear in that moment. And, yet, that was Dad's point. Sometimes, a Bible verse may not be what we want to hear, but we should try to keep it in front of us at all times - to know that God is always with us - to know that even when we are surrounded in darkness and racked with fear - God is there. We may not see Him. We may not feel Him. We may not even believe in Him. But God is there. God is always there.
How awesome is that?
So, that's the start of one song.
The second song is really exciting for me as I believe I have written my first real Southern Gospel song! It's a Christmas song called, "Welcome to Bethlehem". Rhythmically, it feels like a convention song, but I can't say that it's one for sure. But I absolutely hear it with quartet harmony. Sooo exciting! I didn't start out to write a Southern Gospel song, but I guess God was in my pen last night. I'm going to arrange it in four parts myself ( I'm so proud to be able to say that! ) and bring it to my choir rehearsal on Thursday. They'll be my "test group" - not just to see if they like it, but to see if my harmonies work out as well!
Oh, and it's pretty sure now - I'm going to attend the Write for Jesus conference. Very excited!
Friday, September 02, 2005
Just news.
Well, I heard back from the audition, and I didn't get the part. I'm guessing they either cast older, or they cast someone they knew. Or both. It's just frustrating cause it's been so long since I did a play. Gerald and I did his play in Stratford last Christmas, which was awesome, but it was only one performance, which isn't really a satisfying run.
Of course, when a door closes...
After hearing the results of the audition, I checked my email. I've been offered a very interesting gig in October, and I've booked another church service for December.
This is all good.
Of course, when a door closes...
After hearing the results of the audition, I checked my email. I've been offered a very interesting gig in October, and I've booked another church service for December.
This is all good.
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