Sing of Eve

Today I did my first solo recital in years! I was able to be a part of the fabulous Music Mondays concert series at the Church of the Holy Trinity (a fabulous church in its own right!). Music Mondays has been offering free summer concerts to the downtown area for 15 years. I did a show there a few years ago, and it was great to be invited back.

My show was called SING OF EVE - SONGS OF WOMEN OF THE BIBLE. I got the idea for it years ago when I discovered that Shubert's Ave Maria was not actually written as a prayer to Mary, but as a setting for a secular poem. It wasn't until later in the tune's life that it became a setting for this holy prayer. So it got me thinking, "If this song wasn't written for Mary, then what songs were? And in that case, what songs have been written for the other women of the Bible?".

I started searching through all my music books - classical, hymns, music theatre, opera, cabaret, etc. - and I found women of the Bible every where! I've collected about 30 songs to date, and today I sang 13 of them in a 45 minute program.

I was accompanied on piano by the ever-talented William Shookhoff, and I also did 2 songs on guitar, and 2 acapella. Bill and I did a version of this show a few years ago, so it was a real pleasure to investigate this music together again.

I tried to include a wide variety of genres, and I only sang songs that either directly told a woman's story or quoted her words. Lots of songs have a passing reference to Mary or Eve, but I wanted to find songs that really teach us about these women and their role in the Bible.

I sang about: Mary the Mother of Jesus, Eve, Susanna, Ruth, Miriam, The Woman at the Well, and Mary Magdalene. For most of them, I just had one song, but I had a little group of songs for each Mary. I arranged these particular songs in an order that would follow the life of Jesus. Before each song of the program, I would give a little background on each woman and her story. I really hoped I might excite people about delving into their Bibles and finding out more about these women.

I would love to do this program again and again. There are just so many great songs to chose from. I did include "I Call Out Your Name", as that was written as a compliment for the book of Susanna. But wouldn't it be wonderful to write some new songs about different Biblical women? Or maybe even to commission people to write some songs? One of the things I've loved about this journey is seeing the different perspectives each writer takes on each particular story. So fascinating!

And I have to say, it was so awesome to be singing in Holy Trinity. What an acoustic! I could sing there all day!

Father's Day at St. John's West

Happy Father's Day!

As always, it was such a blessing to be at St. John's West this morning. Today, my role was to lead the congregation in music, and to provide a solo song for reflection after the sermon. And, like last time, I also had the awesome role of choosing the music. We usually work with themes from the readings, but this time, Gary really wanted to focus on Father's Day, and especially reminding us of the great father we have in God.

I pulled out every father and family song I could think of - Abba Father, The Family of God, and Daddy Sang Bass. Gary passed on a great new lyric for Faith of our Fathers, so that's how we opened the service. We had a huge closer with Days of Elijah. We put drums and shakers in the pews for the congregation, so everyone just rocked out!

My solo piece was new song I've written called Walking With My Father. I was, of course, terrified just before I started it. (What if they walk out? What if I drop my guitar? You know, all those rational fears!) But I think it went really well.

We also did a new (well, 'new' for me) version of the Eucharistic prayer. The Sanctus, responses, and Great Amen were sung, but under the spoken parts, there were solo guitar chords. It was pretty huge to get the hang of it, but it's really quite wonderful. I'm always so conscious of creating good flow in the service. I always want the music to just come out of things naturally, and I never want the priest or congregation standing awkwardly, waiting for me to start. I actually had someone comment on how well I followed the service and how the music was always ready at the right time, so that was a pretty awesome moment for me. Little did they know, it's from years of watching brilliant church musicians who always know how to time things out so that the hymn ends just as the communion elements are ready, etc. It also helps to watch the priest and look for the one-verse-more-panic in the eyes.

I actually had several wonderful comments after the service, and that was really pretty awesome. If only they knew how much I am blessed to be there!

I'll be back again in August, and I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I'll have a new Stamps-Baxter song to bring with me!

Fundraising and funerals.

Today was a huge singing day. I was supposed to sing at a child's birthday party this morning, but it was delayed due to illness. I'm not happy about that, but at least it eased up on things a little.

The first part of the day was a fundraiser for the Salvation Army and their series of group homes for developmentally delayed adults. A friend of mine works at one of the homes, so he gave me a call, and asked if I could help out. It was Strawberry Festival, which basically translated into a community festival - lots of booths, artisans, etc. They had a small stage with live music all day, and that's where I fit in. My job was to fill a 40 minute set. This ended up being a challenge for several reasons. The first is - I had no accompanist! I've been playing by myself more and more over the last year, but I've never had to do an entire set by myself. I picked out all my favourite songs, with not-too-difficult chords, prayed for steady hands and strong calluses (guitar players, you know what I mean!), and off I went. The next challenge came in the form of weather. Today was bright and sunny, but unseasonably chilly. So I had bright sunshine tearing up my eyes, while great gusts of wind took control of my music binder, my stand, my mic... Every once in a while I'd need to shoot my foot out to stop my stand from falling over. Guitar, singing, and gymnastics - I am soooo talented!

When I was booked, I asked what kind of music they wanted. They said they'd like Christian, but it didn't need to be. I was like, "Are you kidding? Bring it on!". I'm happy with the songs I did. They got a great response, and lots of people were singing along. I even did a few of my own: "I Call Out Your Name", and "All Because Of You". Today was a real challenge for me, but I'm glad I did it. I think I really held my own. The only weird part was when somebody called my music "country". Arg! Save that compliment for Gerald. I'll take "soulful" and "spirited" and "completely brilliant", thank you! ...... Oh, who am I kidding? I'll take any compliment!

After the fundraiser, I rushed back to church for a funeral, where I was the soloist. I'm not going to discuss any of the family's details, except to say it was a beautiful service, filled with great words and wonderful songs. I guess I just want to say how much events like this mean to my ministry. I feel a strong urge to provide comfort to the grieving, and I feel I can offer genuine support through my music. Clearly, all of this is influenced by my own experience with grief over the last few years. (It will actually be five years this December since we lost Steve. I can't believe it's been that long!) I feel I have a real understanding of the grieving process and I think I can provide a useful tool through music. I am so thankful for opportunities like today. It's certainly not enjoyable, but I take strength in knowing that I'm doing something good for people in this difficult time. I pray that my songs were a benefit to all those in attendance today.

I'm just craving more and more opportunities to minister to people through music. I just continue to pray, "Yes, Lord." Whatever you ask of me, I say, "Yes Lord."

Back on set!

Whoo-hoo! A great day and I am so thankful for it! And yes, cliche as it may be - God does work in mysterious ways!

Two weeks ago, I made a decision. In my blog, I described it as visiting the potter's house. I felt like I had been broken down, and was now allowing God to build me back up in His own design. Well, that "breaking down" had to do with my career in acting - I decided to give it up.

It just seemed so out of context with the things I want to do now. Not that we can't use acting and drama to tell the story of the gospel. I'm actually a huge advocate for using drama for that purpose. My only complaint was - I was not getting those opportunities! I was spending countless hours and tonnes of energy on auditions that went no where, for shows I didn't want to do. It just didn't make sense anymore. I decided that I would call my agent and break it all off. I told my family, and they told me they would support my decision.

Well, God had a bit of a different plan.

The day I was going to call my agent to tell him "God's" plan for me, my agent called with an audition for me. This was not a theatre audition, but a commercial audition. I accepted the audition, with a full plan to call my agent again the next day to call everything off.

Then I received a second phone call.

This time, it was for a call back, or second audition. They liked me and wanted to see me again! I took the second audition, and started to plan my big acting cancellation for the next day.

Then I received a third phone call!

I got the gig! After months of not being on set, I booked a major commercial with a print ad campaign. This is huge! Work has been scarce lately, plus I will not be able to work this summer while I'm in Nashville, so this paycheque is a huge relief at the perfect time!

I shot the commercial today, and it was a wonderful experience. I got to talk about music and sing a little. I got to eat chocolates from the Nutty Chocolatier (my favourite!), wear a gorgeous silk dress, and even play with a sweet little canary. Off camera, I got to tell people about gospel music and the singing schools.

On my way home, I started to think about that phone call to my agent. Maybe God just wanted me to take more time with my decision? Maybe He wants me to keep some options open? Maybe I shouldn't just ditch it all at once? After all, God has given me my talent in acting. Who am I to decide how it shall be used?

So, after much prayer and listening, and with the support of my family, this is my decision - For the time being, I am going to stop auditioning for theatre. I will put those skills on the back burner til God wants me to use them again. Practically speaking, it's too hard to commit to a play right now anyways - it's too long a contract when we're hoping to move in the fall. Also, theatre in Toronto can be risqué and I don't want to do things that will conflict with my message and ministry. I am, however, going to keep on auditioning for TV and commercials. The time commitment is short, so it doesn't conflict with my time for music. The content will always be clean, as TV is still a family-based medium. And it will help fund our way to Nashville - definitely a plus!

What am I trying to say by telling this convoluted story?

Sometimes when God speaks, you can't just catch the headline.
Sometimes, you have to wait til He's told you the whole story.

Unite in Worship - Day 3

Today was awesome, but it's been a long few days, so I'm glad it's done!

This morning started with music by Craig Davis, and our speaker was Chris Seay. Chris is young and cool and a family man. He pastors a church in Texas, and he spoke about many things, but his starting point was this: Often we open the Bible and ask, "God, what you do want me to do?", but we should really be asking, "God, who am I?". From there, Chris talked about our role as artists in the church, and the importance of creativity in spreading the Gospel. He emphasized the importance of beauty and truth in our art, and how those are the elements that will attract people to our songs and writing, and that's how souls are saved. He also talked about the importance of actually living IN the world and in our culture. So many Christians like to separate themselves from the rest of the community. They hide themselves in the cloister of the church and fellow Christians. But when Jesus was on Earth, he went deep into the communities and spoke to all kinds of people. He recognized that there was valuable work to be done in the messiest, dirtiest parts of town. So important for us all to remember!

My first session was a songwriting panel with Noel Richards and Robin Mark. There were some technical questions addressed, but most people asked about tools for opening up their creativity. I just wanted to shout, "Read the Artist's Way!". Robin really emphasized using your whole life in a song. Get to know all about yourself and use it all in your songs.

This afternoon, we had a presentation by Door 217, a music ministry for terminally ill patients and their caregivers. This family is creating a line of cds that can be distributed in hospitals, nursing homes, and anywhere than is involved in palliative care. The music is soothing and uplifting. As someone with too much experience with grief, I really appreciate what they are trying to do.

My second session was incredible! It was, again, with Andy Piercy, and he was talking about recording songs. He is just so smart and so full of information. I wish we could have talked all day! The session actually ran so far over time that we all had to be asked to leave the room. So brilliant!!!

My final session was on communication with Jason Hildebrand. I'm sure for most people it was great, but it really wasn't what I needed. About 15 minutes in, I realized this was Acting 101 For Non-Actors, and by then it was too late for me to leave without being completely rude. Deep breathing, being open to your audience, blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong - It's great and important stuff. But I did 4 years of theatre school. I really didn't need another hour of it today.

Overall, I'm really glad I went to this conference. I learned a tonne of stuff, heard some amazing music, and met some great people. I also had a revelatory moment last night. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, cause it's going to involve some changes that will affect other people. But it's all good. It's actually so good!

Let's just say: I have visited the potter, and I have been broken!

Unite in Worship - Day 2

Long and awesome day! The morning began with more wonderful music by Robin Mark. Our keynote speaker was Ruth Haley Barton, who spoke about finding God in solitude and silence. It was a heavy topic for nine-in-the-morning, but just so good! Her speaking style was gentle and intimate, and she led us through her own journey of finding a discipline of solitude and silence. She also spoke a lot about the barriers we create to prevent us from sitting in that place, and how we can fight those barriers. Finally, she brought us into a brief time of silence. I just loved her talk. I even bought her book. (Poor, Visa! Working so hard these days!)

My first seminar was on Improving Worship Leading Skills, and I was so excited about this one. I'm starting to do a little worship leading, and I truly desire to learn more about this skill. Our workshop leader was Andy Piercy, who's from Holy Trinity Brompton in England, which is famous for being the home church of Nicky Gumbel and the Alpha course. (Love the Alpha course!) Andy gave us lots of tips and guidelines for leading worship, but the best of the bunch had to be "love your congregation". What simple advice, yet something so few of us have consciously considered. In loving them, you want to earn their trust, and then lead them into a joyous and accessible worship experience. Andy was awesome! I could have studied with him all day.

I missed the mid-day section as I had to run downtown to teach a baby-music class, but I got back in time for Robin Mark's talk entitled Warrior Poets of the 21st Century. This was great! I've heard the term "warrior poet" before in discussions of archetypes, but Robin used a story from Judges to show the role and importance of warrior poets in the church and in society today. He helped us all to see our personal role as warrior poets, and then brought it around to show how Jesus was the ultimate warrior poet. Just so powerful!

In a side story, Robin told us how he has no real education in music. His degrees are in business and math and such. He didn't start to play guitar til he was 20. And yet God has chosen him to write songs that bless people around the world. What an awesome testimony! If God wants us in His service, He will give us the tools we need!

Our evening musical worship was led in 2 parts. The first was by Vicky Beeching, a young worship leader from the UK. She was at the conference last year, with a few songs and an EP. This year, she's back from a stint in Nashville and a new full-length CD. She's obviously doing well - everyone there knew her songs! Our second leader was Paul Baloche, who's written such songs as "Open the Eyes of My Heart" and "Above All". What great energy! He's just full of joy, and he filled the house with praise.

Our speaker tonight was Mike Breen, an ANGLICAN vicar from England! He was very funny and charming, with a great message called The Grace of Evangelism. He started by saying that most of us have some fear and hesitancy about sharing our faith with others. But he then reminded us of how Jesus prepared his disciples for ministry, and from that lesson, he gave us tools to use in finding opportunities to talk about our faith. I'm not from an evangelical background, and I will completely admit that I've never brought anyone to Christ, nor have I even invited anyone to Christ. But Mike's talk encouraged us all to simply be ready for the moment when someone asks about our faith. Have an answer when someone says, "What's your secret?"

It's been a long day. I'm drained and invigorated. Looking forward to tomorrow ...

Unite in Worship - Day 1

Tonight is the start of a three day conference here in Toronto called Unite in Worship. The next few days are full of workshops, keynote speakers, and awesome music. There are lots of topics, including youth and children's ministry, but I'll be focusing on the worship leading workshops.

Most of the music for the conference is praise and worship, and I have to say: This is not my favourite kind of music. Yes, there are some great praise songs. But overall, I find the lyrics are too simplistic for my taste, and the repetition drives me nuts. Sixteen repeats of "God, you're good" is not particularly inspiring for me. That said, I get the importance of this music, and I can't help but be amazed by the impact it's having on people. It's drawing people to the church and to God, and you can't brush off the importance of that.

I have a lot to learn about leading worship, and I feel this conference is one of the best opportunities for doing this. In just a few days, I'll get to experience the worship styles of at least 8 different bands and leaders, plus songwriting seminars, recording information, and keynote speakers. That's just good learning! In addition, despite my non-love of most praise and worship music, I just think it's so important to keep exposing yourself to different styles of worship and music. As a musician and songwriter, it's critical to take in all kinds of music. But as a Christian, I also think it's important not to get stuck in the my-worship-is-the-best-worship situation.

Tonight opened with a worship session led by Robin Mark. Robin has achieved some fame for an awesome praise song, Days of Elijah. (I told you I liked some praise songs. This is one of them!) He led music for about an hour with his band, which included some beautiful Celtic details with flute and recorders. He ended the set with Days, and it was amazing! To sing the song, led by the man who wrote it, with a great band, and a completely psyched-up audience was just incredible. God had already entered the house several songs ago, and now it was time to celebrate!

The keynote speaker tonight was David Edwards, a 6-foot-4 southerner with ADD and a killer sense of humour. At times, he was so quick and so funny you'd think you were watching stand-up. And then in the blink of an eye, he had you turned back to God. He spoke about creating an environment in worship that makes space for, and welcomes, God. He brought us into the book of Exodus, when Moses is about to follow God's plan and is expressing his doubts about his mission. God gives Moses three signs to show the people so that they will believe that he is an ambassador of God. David showed us the lesson in each of these three signs, and related it to how we can prepare ourselves for ministry. He also had some great words to say about researching the Biblical references in the songs you sing. All of this was such a valuable talk for me. As my ministry starts to grow and take shape, it is so important to keep God in the front, and to use it all just to serve him. Tonight was a humbler and a boost all in one shot. (Not quite sure 'humbler' is a noun, but you know what I mean.)

The night ended with the Late Night Cafe, featuring the band newworldson. I heard them last year in a smaller set up, but tonight, they were amazing! They mix sounds of gospel, reggae, soul, and funk to make their own spiritual sound. The audience was tired when they entered the room, but by the end, they were grooving and clapping, and even a little dancing. Very cool, and yet completely focused on God.

Tonight was great, but tomorrow is a very long day. Off for sleep ...

NSAI Toronto!

I'm so excited! We were scanning around the NSAI web site yesterday (Nashville Songwriters Association International) and we discovered they have a Toronto chapter. Who knew?

This is a great organization, and we fully intended to become members once we moved to Nashville, but with a Toronto chapter, we can get involved right away.

I sent and email and found out there was a meeting tonight. Sooo excited! Gerald wasn't able to go, so I just went solo. The first part of the meeting was an intro for myself and another new member. We also found out about the group's upcoming festival: Tin Pan Alley North. The performers are booked already, but I've volunteered to help out with front of house.

The next part of the meeting was lesson time. Tonight's lesson was "extended rhyme". I'd never really heard of this concept, so it was a great thing for me to learn. We read through the lesson and did a few practical exercises too. I'm working on a new Mother's Day song right now, so maybe I'll try to put it in there.

The final part of the evening was dedicated to song critiques. Because I only found out about the meeting at the last minute, I couldn't get home to get a CD of any recent songs. So I brought in "You Noticed Me". This is a very personal song I wrote after the death of family friend and awesome man of God, Archbishop Edward (Ted) Scott. The song is two years old, and I know I've grown since then. However, I've had so few songs critiqued that any feedback opportunities are good. We played the CD, and then the floor was opened for everyone to give feedback. The overall comments were very good, with some lines and details receiving high praise. The critical feedback was really useful. It was mostly about how to make the song more commercial. I know this is not a song that anyone else would sing, but I do want to write commercially viable songs, so it was great info for me to have.

We've started the process of applying for our work visas. There are a tonne of practical things to do before we can hit Nashville, but creative, artistic, and spiritual things still need to be a priority. I think being involved with this group will be a very good thing for both of us.

"All glory comes from daring to begin!"

Gaithers in London.

I'm exhausted today after a very late night of awesome gospel singing! Last night, the Gaither Homecoming crowd was performing just outside Toronto. After finishing a full day of work, I jumped in the car and made the two hour drive out to London, ON. The venue was half the size of the ACC, so it was a much more intimate concert than I've seen before.

The opening was great. All the singers walked through the audience singing "Lean On Me" - a great and soulful way to open the show. If you've seen a live Gaither show before, then you know how the rest of the show unfolds - solos in the first half, group singing after intermission. ("Intermission" is really just another word for "CD-buying-time". My poor Visa nearly exploded!) Everyone was in great form. The Booth Brothers sang "I'm Feeling Fine", which has extra significance since our wedding. Ben Speer opened his heart and tore up the stage with "Til the Storm Passes By". Signature Sound just ripped everything apart with their snazzy stylings! I love their arrangement of "Then Came the Morning". It never fails to inspire me and remind we that we are an Easter people! The Isaacs are always awesome. I'm always impressed with their mix of technical skill, great songwriting (especially "Yours and Mine", which they performed last night), and truly anointed praise. They did their fantastic version of "It is Well". It's no secret this is one of my favourite songs of all time, and their arrangement is just so powerful. God just fell upon that place. The air was potent with His presence!

But the musical highlight for me was the newest member of the Gaither gang - pianist Gordon Mote. I am completely in love with this man's music. It is my new official Latest Favourite CD. Gordon is a Nashville session player who is using his talents in ministry. As a session player, I'm sure he's played everything, but his playing last night could only be categorized by one word: Soul. And lots of it! You could hear it in the classic quartet songs, as well as the newer jazzy stuff that GVB is doing. He sang two songs, and they both brought the house down. I had the chance to meet him after the show, and he's so funny! I cannot say it enough: I love this man's music! I hope I get the opportunity to work with him someday. (Yes,subtle hinting!)

The group singing was, as usual, a great way to end the show. Lots of classic SG sung with great gusto. We even got the rare opportunity to hear Mike Allen do a solo. I think people get so used to hearing him drop in those low notes that they forget he's a beautiful singer who can really do justice to a song. The show ended with "Because He Lives" with Charlotte Ritchie on the solo verse. What a voice! I bought some of her tracks. (Thank you, Visa!) We have the same vocal range, so I think they should work well.

I was hesitant about going to the concert last night. I worked all day yesterday and today, so driving two hours there and two hours back, all by myself, was not a wonderful prospect. But I'm so glad I went. It reminded me what I'm aiming for: A career writing and singing gospel music, specifically southern gospel music. To live in Nashville where I will be surrounded by some of the best writers and singers in the world. To travel and bring the music and message to different areas.

But mostly, I just want to use my talents to serve God. Last night, in the concert, I prayed that God would bless my efforts to serve Him. And I reminded myself of the prayer that I started last summer:
"Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! What ever you ask, I say, Yes, Lord!"

Gospel Vespers - end of the season!

Today was our last Gospel Vespers service this season, and what a blessing it was!

Our Gospel theme today was The Feeding of The 5000. Mary gave the message in the form of a dramatization. She played the mother of the little boy who gave his loaves and fishes to Jesus. She ended her story at the altar, letting us know that there is always enough at God's communion table.

Our music leaders today were the Voices of Joy gospel choir, directed by Peggy Downes. A few years ago, there was a big fundraising service at St. Paul's on Bloor St. A church in Lunenburg, NS, had burned to the ground, and all the funds raised went to rebuild and restore this historic church. Being an east-coast girl myself, I was eager to offer my talents to the cause. I sang a new hymn, written for the occasion, by Herbert O'Driscoll. Andrew Ager played piano, and Gerald accompanied me on djembe. Great fun! The whole service was filled with the awesome music of bagpipes, handbells, and choirs. Folk legend, John Allan Cameron, even lead the congregation in Lord of the Dance. (Wee bit of trivia: Gerald's dad used to play in a band with John Allan Cameron!). But at that service, the mood was set by the Voices of Joy choir. They opened everything with soulful gospel singing. I remember they sang "Holy Ground", and you could feel God's presence in the house.

So that's how they came to sing at Gospel Vespers today. When brainstorming about good music leaders, Dad and I immediately remembered the Voices of Joy, and gave Peggy a call. And we're so glad they came! They were a great fit for our service. Their music was rhythmic and singable. It was full of praise and joy, but when needed, it was also a tool for peace and reflection. The choir itself was small, but the voices were strong and passionate. I love this kind of choral sound. The harmonies were strong and present; not necessary refined and perfect, but full of power and life. I was inspired to sing and clap and move, and I was not the only one. Today was a smaller crowd, but they were definitely excited by the music and the energy!

Gospel Vespers has a been a real blessing for me, and, I believe, for our church. It has brought in people who have never been to St. John's. It has introduced new music and new musical sounds to our congregation. It has inspired some very creative and dramatic preaching on some very traditional gospel stories. And it has given us a place where we, as Anglicans, can be passionate about praising Jesus. We don't need to be locked into tradition and weekly formats. Dad has a favourite term: "Carving out new ministries." Gospel Vespers is such a perfect example of this. We are finding new ways to express our love, our joy, and our excitement about the Gospels and their stories of Jesus. What an honour for me to be a part of this!

Our next season of Gospel Vespers will start next September. I don't know where I'll be by then, but I'll be praying that lots of people find the joy that I have found in this great service.

Faith Gospel Tabernacle

This morning, I had the great pleasure of singing at Faith Gospel Tabernacle in Brampton.

It's a pretty little white church, right by a pond and surrounded by long lawns and new housing developments. The church was started 22 years ago by Pastor John Williamson, who is still leads the parish. They are obviously doing well in the area. They have started a campaign to build a new building on those lawns to house the growing congregation. In a day when many churches are suffering from declining attendance, this is such encouraging news!

Sunday mornings have two services, and I sang at both this morning. Both services are exactly the same format, but they need two times to accommodate all the people. I arrived at 8:30am for a sound check, and we started at 9 sharp.

The service began with 35 or so minutes of praise and worship music with the band. Eight people playing and singing and just leading everyone in song. The music was great, and the spirit was wonderful. Then I sang my first song, Shout To The Lord. It's a new Sandy Patti track I bought in Nashville. (Well, new for me!) I sing it in her key, so I get to use the track with all the back-up vocals. And it's a great arrangement, going from the very low to the very high. People were singing and clapping along, so that was wonderful to see.

Next were some parish announcements. I always like hearing this, as it gives me insight into the workings of the parish and its people. This is clearly a dedicated community of Christians. At the later service, they gave attendance awards to the young people who have been attending youth group over the winter. It seems like such a small thing, but it's saying, "We value that you come out." It's just so importance to let teens know that their presence is respected in church!

The message was preached by Pastor Roland, who read and preached on the Palm Sunday readings in all four gospels. He ended with a great meditation on "the approaching Jesus" - the Jesus who walked into Jerusalem, who walks into our lives, and who, one day, will walk back into our world.

I ended the service with my second song, Upon This Rock, using Allison Durham Speer's track. Again, a good track for me as we have a similar vocal range. This song received great response! It felt especially appropriate given their new building campaign. "I will build my church upon this rock".

A few weeks ago, I called the church to see what they would like from me. I asked if there were any special readings or themes they would like reflected in the songs. The response was, "Sing what you like. Somehow it always seems to work out". And it did. What a great lesson about the workings of God!

When you bring your best and offer it to the Lord, somehow, it always seems to work out!

There is a season...

I don't even know how to start this post. This is my third attempt to be witty and profound. But all I'm doing is struggling for words. So, instead of searching for perfection, I'm just going to be honest: I'm struggling because today, we announced one of the biggest changes our family has ever faced:

Today, my Dad announced his retirement from full-time ministry.

We knew it was coming. Gerald and I went to church and sat with Mom and Dad while the announcement was being made. Dad had written a letter, and it was beautifully read by one of the church wardens. After reading the letter, some really awesome words were said in honour of Mom and Dad, and the congregation gave them a huge and lengthy standing ovation.

He won't retire officially til next January, but he wanted the church to have lots of time to find a new rector. He knows this is a busy and vibrant church, and a smooth transition from one rector to another would be ideal.

For most people, retirement is a big party, and the next day you wake up in your house and decide how best to spend your days. I don't see it being that simple for Mom and Dad. For one thing, they have to move. Mom and Dad have lived in church-owned homes for almost 25 years. They now have to buy a house and move out of the only area they have lived in Toronto. They will also need to find a new church home. And it will be the first time in ages that they have attended a church without working in it.

It will be big for me too. I have never been a member of a church where Dad was not a member of the clergy. I've attended other churches, but never been a member of one. We have done so much ministry work together, and I'm afraid of losing those opportunities. I love all the times Dad has come to me and said, "I want to have this song in my sermon. Will you sing it?". And my answer is always a resounding, "Of course!".

I know it will also be a big change for Dad because this is not simply a job. It's his life's calling. How do you simply stop doing that? As an artist, I know I will never really "retire" from what I do. I couldn't if I tried. It's too deeply entrenched in everything I do. I sort of feel that it will be like this for Dad. I'm sure that he will still find opportunities to minister. He will probably do interim work for churches that need someone short term. He will also be able to devote time to his loves of writing and photography.

It's such a vibrant time for our family. There will be great challenges and great rewards. But we must always remember that God is in control of it all. And with Him at the wheel, how can we go wrong?

Praising and Pubs?

Today included one of my favourite experiences: hearing gospel music performed in a bar!

I truly love this. I know lots of singers who would never dream of singing gospel music in a bar. On one side, they think it would be offensive to the customers. On the other side, they are so offended by the behavior of the customers that they think it's not a worthy place for the Gospel to be sung. (Clearly these people need to re-read the parts of the Bible where Jesus is hanging out with hookers and tax collectors!)

Once a month, local music club, Hugh's Room, hosts a Gospel Lunch, for two hours of solid gospel music. It's hosted by Ken Whitely, who surrounds himself by best friends and awesome musicians. Today, the theme was "siblings". The Levy sisters did some killer vocals, while the Patrick siblings sang and played keys and hand drums. Ken's son played bass, and his brother, Chris, sang and played guitar, trumpet and harmonica. Just no talent in that family! (Actually, Chris probably doesn't remember, but I sat in with his group for a song last summer at the Distillery District.)

So, you have this amazingly talented group of musicians, and room full of people. And it just started to rock. The music was mix of things, but a lot of old school gospel, bluesy stuff and spirituals. They did a great version of Wade in the Water that started with a solo walking bass. And they tore the roof off the place with Yolanda Adams' "I Believe I Can Fly".

One of the best moments, however, was completely improvised. Canadian blues legend, Salome Bey, was in the audience, and they invited her up to sing. I hadn't seen her for a while, but she's aged a lot. It was a little worrisome at first. She had a lot of trouble walking, and then couldn't remember the words to Amazing Grace. But once they got going, no one could touch her. She passed the solos around, and they would all take turns singing harmonies. And that voice! Rich and full and powerful and ready to rip out your soul. She knew all the right places to riff, and all the right places to just sing. As they say in basketball, we were taken to school! It was really tremendous.

I love moments like this. I love taking the Gospel into unexpected places. I love bringing it into untraditional venues. And I tip my hat to Hugh's Room for being brave enough to feature gospel music in it's monthly line up.

He knows already!

I've found myself in a number of discussions lately about God's version of time versus our version of time. It started a few weeks ago in our Passport to Easter discussion: If we have free will, how can God know everything we are going to do? We discussed this to great lengths, but none of the answers were satisfying to me. Then I found this quote from Clifford Longley, of "The Times" in London:

"If God lives in the eternal present, He hears all prayers simultaneously. Therefore He can appropriate a prayer from next week, and attach it to an event a month ago. Prayers said after the event can be heard before they are spoken and taken into account before the event."

I had to read this about six times before I could really start to understand it, but what a comfort it has become for me. It means that God knows all the needs and prayers I will ever have, or have ever have. (Bad English, but you know what I mean.) He is constantly listening to and answering my prayers. It may not be in my time, but that's okay because it is in His time, which is a completely different system. I think C.S. Lewis illustrates this wonderfully in the Narnia books. In his stories, London-time is as we know it, but when they go into Narnia, which is Aslan's country (Aslan, of course being God), time takes on a whole other meaning. A thousand years in Narnia can equal a week in our world.

And so it is in God's "world". He can hear my prayers today and attach them to the need I had last week. He knows what my prayers will be next month, and He's already working on a solution for them. What an awesome and comforting thought!

I'm facing some challenges these days as we prepare to bring our music to Nashville. Work is scare right now. Auditions are basically non-existent. And a class I was supposed to teach was cancelled. Unexpected expenses are coming up, my personal favourite being the night I went to visit a friend and my car was towed. (Parking signs in Toronto aren't always what they seem!)

I'm reminded of the warnings in the Bible about working for God. We are told that Satan hates it when we work for the glory of God. Well, I'm working harder and harder for God and, some days, I feel like Satan is upping his attack on me.

But I shall continue to fight the good fight. Fight the "God" fight. I'm praying constantly. My Passport to Easter journey is bringing me into daily contact with the Gospel of Matthew, and especially with the ever-beautiful Sermon on the Mount. I'm reading "Questions of Life" by Nicky Gumbel, the founder of the Alpha course. I am listening to gospel music and surrounding myself by supportive loving Christians.

If God wants me to change my mind about singing gospel music or moving to Nashville, that's fine. He can tell me. But I will not let Satan or any of his attacks hold me back.

So I'm praying for strength and energy and peace of mind. But what a comfort to know that God has already heard my prayers before they have even formed in my head! He is already working on a solution. I don't know how or when He will answers these prayers, but I don't need to worry. My prayers are heard. And God is in control of it all.

I lift my eyes and say, to everything He asks of me, "Yes, Lord!".

Gospel Vespers

I'm in a quiet mood after a great day. This afternoon, it was my turn to be the music leader at our Gospel Vespers service. This new monthly worship service was my Dad's brainchild. The idea is to have a monthly, music-driven worship service, that is based on one of the stories of the Gospels. Each service has a different music leader, representing all forms of gospel and contemporary Christian music.

Our Gospel reading today was The Two Housebuilders. One build a house on the sand and it was washed away by rain. But one built a house on the rock, and it stood strong through the storms. Dad was our preacher today, and he did an awesome telling of the story by acting out the "characters" of Sandy and Rocky, and telling about the houses that were built on each of them. He then told the story from the point of view of Jesus, and how all houses should be built on Him. It was great. Really great.

My job was to lead the congregational singing, and to choose music that reflected our gospel theme. I was so lucky that Monika and Gerald jumped in at the last minute to join in the music. The last time all three of us performed together was two years ago when we worked on the cd. What a blessing to be together today! Gerald and I took turns on guitar. Monika sang harmonies and played tambourine. Gerald also played djembe (an African hand-drum) and I lead the singing.

We opened the service with We Have Come Into His House, as a way in inviting God into our presence, and as a way of getting people in the mood for worship. We then lead everyone in some great and joyful singing on Standing in the Need of Prayer, Great is Thy Faithfulness, and Give Me Oil. I had placed drums and shakers in the pews, and everyone picked them up and played along. I had fears of a stiff crowd who wouldn't want to play along, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Everyone sang and clapped and even boogied a little!

After the sermon, I sang my solo piece: Upon This Rock. I sang it to one of Allison Durham Speer's tracks. What an awesome arrangement! It just builds and builds til it ends on a super-high-B-something. I was pretty nervous about it leading up to today. Not only is it a challenging piece, but I had never sung with a track before! Never! I realize this is second nature for a lot of people, but it's not done a lot up here, and I'd never done it at all. So I practiced like crazy and visited the church for a dry run yesterday. I think I found it intimidating because you're completely on your own. There is no accompanist to follow you, and no one to cover up your mistakes. But in the end, I really enjoyed the experience. I'm building up my track library, and today was a great way to start this new skill.

After the solo, we returned to group singing. We did Spirit of the Living God acapella. So beautiful! There were a lot of singers in the congregation, and we had lots of spontaneous harmony. We sang What a Friend We Have in Jesus, and then taught the congregation I Go To the Rock. ( A standard down South. Not so much up here. )

One of the things I really wanted to do was to have seamless transitions between the singing and the prayers. I invited people to stand, sit, or kneel for a time of prayer. When everyone was settled, we sang one verse of Sweet Hour of Prayer, with Gerald on guitar. As the singing ended, Gerald started to improvise some gentle lyrical tunes on the guitar. It was over this that I began to pray. I didn't have any prayers planned, I just asked God to help me address the needs of the congregation. The whole thing felt beautiful and easy. As I felt this time coming to a natural closure, I invited the congregation to stand and sing The Lord's Prayer. We have a great arrangement where the words fit the tune of Amazing Grace, so everyone sang out.

We then sang one of the greatest "rock" songs ever - Rock of Ages. After a quick thank you from the church warden, we ended with my favourite, This Little Light of Mine. I rewrote a few verses so they reflected our Gospel theme. "When I'm in the sinking sand, I'm gonna let it shine!". Again, people sang, clapped, shook, drummed, and boogied out to the song. It was just awesome!

My main goal today was to lead people in worship of God, and I think I accomplished that. I, of course, had some technical things I wanted to accomplish - singing to a track, smooth transitions, working with our trio - and there were definite successes in all these areas. But the main goal was to allow a space where people could feel comfortable to sing out and make a joyful noise unto the Lord. A space where they could pray. A space where they could feel the presence of God.

I feel so blessed to have this opportunity. When you give it all to God, it's amazing how much He gives in return!

Me and the monks.

So, for Lent this year, I decided not to give up chocolate or ice cream or driving too fast. (Sorry, Mom!) Instead, I decided to take up a dedicated study of the Bible and my own spirituality. Some days I think it might have been easier to give up chocolate.

The first thing I've done is join in our church's Lenten study: Passport to Easter. (We actually have a blog for it. The link is in the column to the right.) Each day, we read a passage from Matthew's Gospel. We have a study guide with questions and "food for thought". I like having the booklet cause I can write all my thoughts down in one place. Once a week, we meet for a discussion. It usually starts with a question about the last week's readings, but it's been delving into some pretty deep territory. For example, if Jesus was God and Man, then who died on the cross - God or Man? Or did just part of Him die? It's like the angels-dancing-on-the-head-of-a-pin debate everyone tries to do in university. No firm answers, but a great journey!

Today was the second part of my Lenten intention. I attended a quiet day of prayer and meditation at a local monastery. I will first admit that I have never stepped foot into a monastery, and was a little nervous as to what I may find. Would it look like a church, or worse, like some kind of chamber? What should I wear? Was my pink fuzzy coat inappropriate? Would I have to speak Latin? Luckily, my fears were as silly as they sound now as I write them out in black and white. (Awkward sentence, but you know what I mean!)

The monastery is actually in a gorgeous old Victorian house in the west end of town. In the corner of a large living room is a small altar, but other than that, it just looks like a lovely old home. (The furniture is a little out of date, but I digress.) The second floor has rooms for overnight guests, and the third floor is for full-time members. The brothers were very welcoming, and were a wide variety of ages. About thirty guests gathered for our quiet day.

The theme of our meditations were prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. One brother lead each meditation. We started with prayer, which was a great way to calm our minds for the day. We then had an hour of silence. We could find any spot in the house, and being such a large place, it was easy to find a quiet corner. They had a few suggested guidelines on how to spend this quiet time, so, Bible in hand, I curled up in a cozy chair and opened up a passage in Luke about how to pray. I spent time reading, meditating, and taking little notes in my journal. (I may have the start of a new lyric!) After an hour, we all returned to the living room for a service of Holy Communion, and the second meditation on fasting. I always considered fasting to be all about food and the not-eating of it. But the brother introduced all sorts of ideas on fasting from other cultures and religions. He suggested that instead of simply giving up food, we can give up any thing, any vice, that separates us from God.

In a funny bit of scheduling, lunch followed the talk on fasting. Lunch was also silent. Frankly, a little dinner music would have been nice, but it did kept the calmness of the day intact. Actually, lunch did have one really cool moment. I looked over at a man whose shirt had a logo of St. Thomas's church on it. This is the church in Newfoundland that I grew up in! Dad was the rector there! This man had moved to Newfoundland just after we moved to Toronto, and St. Thomas became his home church! How's that for a small world?

After lunch followed another hour of silence. I jumped into the Bible again, and had a nice little romp through Psalms. Listen, I don't know if this was a certain translation or what, but in this edition, the Psalms talked about unicorns! Seriously! No one ever told me there were unicorns in the Bible. Between the unicorns in Psalms and the giants in Genesis, I'm getting a whole new view on the Bible. No one taught this stuff in my Sunday School!

Our final meditation was on almsgiving. The brother related his stories of living in New York and being repulsed by street people. And let's be honest, everyone who's lived in a big city has had that feeling. He mentioned that, in his past, he never gave money to street people because he figured he couldn't cure their poverty. However, almsgiving is not necessarily about curing poverty, but about relieving the poverty and discomfort of the current situation. We can't fix a street person's life by giving them a dollar, but we can possibly relieve their hunger on that day. If we don't want to give a dollar, we can buy them a coffee or a meal. After all, we all need to eat. We all need a warm place to sleep. We all need eye contact and a friendly smile. It won't fix everything, but it will relieve the weight of that day.

Today was great. I will admit that I'm not usually very good at inviting quiet into my days. I like to fill my hours with music and words and activity. It was nice to slow down and relax into the great silences. To "be still and know that you are God". I will definitely do this again.

Adventures of a ... Wife!

Wow, it has truly been a life-time since I wrote in my blog. How warm and reassuring to return to this place. The last few weeks have just been tremendously wonderful. If I were to write my own script, I don't think I'd change a moment.

On February 10, at 4:30pm, I walked into my home church to marry my beautiful Gerald. It was completely overwhelming! (a.k.a.: I couldn't stop crying all day!) Mom and Dad both walked me down the aisle, preceded by my best friend as my "Babe of Honour". Dad did the ceremony, and let me tell you: It may be generally intense when the priest asks if you want to take this man for the rest of your life, but try having your own Father ask you! After the ceremony, we all shipped off to a gorgeous hall for a night of great food, dancing, and much love all around.

For anyone who's interested (and I guess I'm saying this cause I always want to know), here's a list of our wedding music:
- Attendants' processional: This Little Light of Mine.
- Bridal processional: I Vow to thee my Country (Holst)
- Hymn: I feel the winds of God
- Choir anthem: The Wedding at Cana (written by Me!)
- Signing of the register: Because He Lives.
- Solo: Perfect Picture (written and sung by Gerald!)
- Lord's prayer: sung to Amazing Grace tune.
- Communion hymns: Be Our Chief Guest Lord, and Here I am Lord.
- Marriage processional: I'm Feeling Fine.
- First dance: Have a little faith in me
- Last dance: Take it with me

I do have to share this really great moment: Gerald and I used the vows written in the Anglican wedding service, but later in the service, we each had special words written for each other. I had given Dad my speech to hold, but he thought that was my speech for the reception. So when it came time to read my special words, they were in another room. Dad made sure everyone had a little laugh over the upset, and went out to get the speech. In the gap, Boni reprised Because He Lives, but we were all standing there a little awkwardly. Gerald looked at me and said, "Well, what do we do now?". And I said, "Well, I guess we sing!". I turned to the congregation, and we had this spontaneous singalong of Because He Lives. It was awesome. Lots of people knew the song, and those who didn't had huge smiles on their faces. As soon as we hit the final bar, Dad walked back in with my speech. A slight mishap that spawned a perfect moment!

Two days later we were on the plane for Costa Rica. If you haven't been to Costa Rica, I highly recommend it. The people are great and the food amazing, but the real show is the natural surroundings. On a daily basis we were treated to volcanos, wildlife, waterfalls, rainforests, cloud forests, and the Pacific Ocean. I didn't have a moment when I wasn't overwhelmed by the beauty and wonder of creation. How people can see this stuff and not believe in God, I don't know!

On a day trip we visited a church that had been made from parts of an old ship. All of the exterior and interior walls were metal! It was just gorgeous, but even more importantly, it was acoustically stunning! I asked if I could sing a little, permission was granted, and I sang It Is Well With My Soul. The sound was awesome. The tiniest softest note traveled right through the whole space. A few days later, I was talking with a woman who had been there. She and her family were on the trip because that day was the anniversary of losing a family member. They didn't want to face their grief surrounded by reminders of daily life. How completely did I understand this! She told me how they were all Christians and how their faith was getting them through. She told me how my song had brought them comfort during these days. I just felt so blessed that she would share this story with me. A few years ago, her story would have been my story, but now God is using me to bless those in mourning. It is awesome what can happen when you just say "Yes, Lord!".

After a week of beaches and sunburns, we hopped on the plane again, this time to spend the final leg of our honeymoon in Nashville. I can't remember if I've mentioned this in the blog yet, but Gerald and I are planning on moving to Nashville this year to further our musical pursuits. Ger had never actually been there, and since we were traveling anyways, we thought we might as well spend some time in Music City and have a little fun. What a great time! Our first night there, we played an open mic at the Hall of Fame Lounge. Ger did "So Far" and "The Last Chapter", the latter of which made the emcee cry! Then I jumped up on stage and we did "My Father's Arms". Everyone was so generous, and we've been invited to perform there when we get back to Nashville.

The next night was the Bluebird Cafe, and an awesome in-the-round concert. The songs were great, and all four singers are friends, so the energy was just infectious. After the show, we followed the crowd to Hotel Preston and continued the musical party. The next day was bumming around downtown, and at night, we saw the Opry at the Ryman. What a treat! I, of course, didn't know any of the country singers or their songs. But the final act was Ricky Scaggs and Kentucky Thunder. Yee-haw! They were amazing! There are no real words to capture that kind of skill and passion. Just impressive!

We got to see some friends, and make some new ones. We met Canadians who had moved to Nashville in various ways, all to follow the big dream. We got great encouragement, and hard advice. And we got tonnes of inspiration! It is so clear to me that God wants us to follow this path. I'm such a homebody, that the idea of actually selling everything and moving is absolutely terrifying. But we are truly fighting for a greater good. We are going for the dream that so many people pack away in comfortable jobs and old age pensions. And the truly awesome part is that we're facing this journey together. Hand in hand. With God and family supporting our every move.

"I feel the winds of God today. Today, my sail I lift!"

I'm getting married in the morning!

Okay, technically, it will be late afternoon, but the song still applies.

I can't believe it's actually going to happen. All this planning, and it's finally come to pass. Today, I took Mom and Aunt Pauline out for manicures and pedicures. It was the first time for all of us. Just to look over and see the two of them being pampered in a way they deserve but would never give themselves - it was just awesome!

Tonight, we all just sat around eating great food and telling good stories. I finally got to meet Tim, the best man, who just flew in from Edmonton. And even more family friends flew in today. This is the greatest family reunion!

I have just finished writing my speeches. I will probably fuss over them again tomorrow. I'm so nervous about saying all the things I want to say, and making it efficient and effective and beautiful and memorable and blah, blah, blah... I know it doesn't need to be perfect. I guess what I really want is for it to be accurate to what is in my heart.

I really try to use this blog for my creative and spiritual adventures, and not for my personal events. But I can't imagine any part of my creative and spiritual life that will not be affected by this decision for the rest of my life.

I'm feeling so blessed, so special, so loved, and so loving.

Time for deep breaths, good sleep, and a prayer of thanksgiving for such an incredible twist in my life.

Peace...

Too tired to title.

I read an article about blogging yesterday that stated a "finding" on blogging. Apparently, the less going on in your life, the less you blog. Right now, I would completely disagree.

Things are insanely busy right now, and I'm taking no time to blog. I'm also behind in my email, which never happens. I'm actually just fighting to get all sorts of things done.

But I really don't want to complain about this busy-ness, because it's all awesome stuff. And to complain about it would make me a bit of a jerk.

It is now less than ten days til the wedding! I can't say I was really excited until the shower last week. I mean, I've always been excited about marrying Gerald, but I don't think I was excited about the wedding til just recently. Last week, my Babe of Honour threw a surprise party for me, and that was just incredible. It was very girly and very wonderful. It wasn't the stupid fun I would imagine for a bride in her twenties. It was the awesome fun of women who've lived and loved and know that a good party comes from just spending time with good friends. Of course, crazy coloured wigs and a feather boa helped too! (I'll just let your imagine go on that one.)

The following day, Gerald and I had a really interesting gig: We performed at a Robbie Burns dinner. As a good Irish child, I knew no Scottish songs, so I had to do some research, and then, as luck would have it, Gerald was available to accompany me. We did "Lass from the low country" and "Ye Bank and Braes" with guitar, and they were both really fun. I have to say, there is one thing I miss when I sing gospel music: I love to sing a good sad song! Some story with no hope and no redemption that tears your heart into little pieces. That's just good singing!

The other song was "Ca' the Yowes to the Nowes", a Burns poem written in an old Scottish dialect. I actually Googled the text to find out (A) What it means? and (B) How to pronounce it? We did this one with voice and djembe. Gerald has done much more Celtic music than me, and I was incredibly grateful for his support!

The next morning, I returned to All Saints Church and Community Centre to add some music to their morning service. The building of All Saints is a work of art - red and yellow brick, dark wood, stained glass. The congregation is made up of people most of us would never choose to look at - homeless, addicts, 'those people'. Sunday morning finds a small congregation of about 25 people. The congregation is fully involved in the service. They read the lessons and manage the overhead projector. (And yes, I don't mean 'power point presentation', I mean 'overhead projector'. Just like we all had in high school.) During the prayers, a mic is passed around so people can add their own petitions. People feel very safe, and some of the requests are personal and heartbreaking. After the sermon, the priest opens the floor to a discussion, and the congregation jumps in with ideas. When it comes time for the offering, a donation box is brought up to the altar, but a plate is never passed. Why make it stand out that some people can give and others can't?

I felt so blessed to share in their worship. I played guitar and sang a few songs. During communion, I sang "I Call Out Your Name" and "Spirit of the Living God". For my two solo pieces, I did "Down on my Knees" and "He Touched Me". Some people started to sing along on the last one, so I repeated a chorus and invited them to join in. The whole service was wonderful. They always have lunch after the service, so I stayed for that as well. Everyone was welcoming and generous. I've been invited back, and I'll go sometime in the spring.

The rest of the week has mostly been filled with wedding madness. Things like place cards and chair covers have reached a new priority in my day to day routine. I'm completely overwhelmed with the whole business of thank you cards. I'm one of those rare people who still handwrites thank you cards for everything - gifts, meetings, special kindnesses. But I currently have to send the same person three or four thank you notes: one for the shower gift, one for the party gift, one for the wedding gift... Can't I just have a singing telegram show up in church some morning and thank everybody?

Speaking of singing telegrams, I had a funny little gig tonight. I did another Marilyn Monroe look-a-like thing. This time it was for a man's 70th birthday party. His wife threw him a surprise party, and I was a bonus surprise. He just loved it! I sang "I want to be loved by you" and then opened the floor for photographs. At the end, I did the classic Marilyn Happy Birthday, blew him a kiss, and made a grand exit. That's it. I was back in my car in twenty minutes. They were great people and they all had a great time. And I got to make a little spending money for the honeymoon!

Tomorrow, I'm teaching a new class, working on an audition song, going with Gerald to book his tux ( I can't believe that's not done yet!) , painting a basket for the flower girl, finalizing the honeymoon plans, and continuing to write thank you notes. I'd love to get some sleep, but I don't think I'll get that any time soon. Maybe on the honeymoon?

Worship, wedding, and wine.

Today has been long, but really, really great.

This morning, I returned to St. John's West Toronto to sing and lead the music. Since I'd been there before, I was a little less nervous than last time. But, of course, I was trying a few new things, so that sort of made up for any lost nervousness.

My main job was to lead the singing, so I really tried to keep that as my focus when I was preparing. I was fine with all the hymns they suggested - Here I am Lord, The Summons, Seek ye first - but the Sanctus didn't have chords, and it was a little beyond my scope to figure them out. So, I wrote a new one. (Oh, the Sanctus is that "holy, holy, holy" part of the communion liturgy.) I can never figure out how congregations sing along on the Sanctus. Most of them are pretty complicated and, in my humble opinion, quite uninteresting. I wrote one that was very singable with a little swing. I'd say it sounds a little Celtic (big shock). I played it in the prelude, and again early in the service. It was really new to people, but they still sang along, so that was cool.

The message today was about stewardship, so for my solo piece, I chose "Lord, when you came to the seashore". I learned this song years ago for a World Day of Prayer service, and I thought it would be a perfect fit. I'd lost the music, so I thought I'd maybe google it. Ends up it's a really popular piece in the Catholic church. It was even sung at some Papal event. It's originally written in Spanish, so I did the chorus in Spanish and the verses in English. I was a little nervous at this part of the service - solo singing, chorus in another language, still nervous on guitar - but God was definitely on my side. I thought, "I can mess up the words, the chords, and the tune. But the important thing is to tell this message". Sounds silly to say out loud, but it worked. The words, the chord, and the tune fell into place, and people really got the message.

But here was the best moment of them all. During communion, I started to sing "He Touched Me". (Such a great song!!!) A few people started to sing along. So I took a second to tell them where to find the words, and then started the piece over again. Well, then, everyone started to sing. And not just sing, but sing to God. Something powerful was moving in the room, and it had nothing to do with me. The spirit of the Lord came into the sanctuary, and it was awesome!

At the end of the service, they asked for a few upbeat songs to send everyone out on a high note, so I did "Standing in the need of prayer", "Down by the riverside", and "Down on my knees". Before leaving, I was asked back for a service in the spring. Yay!

This morning was yet another reminder that this is truly what I want to be doing. I am no longer satisfied to simply sing beautiful songs. I want to be a vessel that God can use to His purpose. I want to offer people something greater than just a song well sung. I want to tell them this great message of peace ... hope ... love.

This afternoon was a complete switch. Today, I participated in my first bridal shower. I really didn't want one, so I kept calling it the anti-shower. (Hello, have you met my Auntie Shower?) It was really pretty cool. I got to wear a tiara and eat chocolate-dipped strawberries, so no complaints there.

And, of course, I also got to sit on a comfy chair and open presents. I was a little worried about walking home with an armload of blenders and tea towels, but God bless my Mom. It was a wine shower! Everyone brought me a bottle of their favourite wine. Practical and decadent in one shot!

I predict that the next three weeks will be pretty full. Between developing a new career path and finalizing the details of the wedding, every day counts. But I'm looking forward to it. I'm definitely a happier person when I'm working towards a goal, and these days of full of great goals!