Not Seeking Normal

“I can’t wait for things to return to Normal.”

We’ve all said it. 

In some moment of frustration, in the last few months, 

as the world has turned upside-down, we’ve all said it.

“I just need things to be Normal.”

It’s an understandable phrase. Everything has changed. From the very simple, like buying groceries, to the very complex, like visiting the hospital - nothing has been unaffected by the coronavirus pandemic.

Normal makes sense. Normal makes us feel balanced and safe. In recent days, here in Ontario, we’re getting some signs of that return. Businesses are starting to reopen, you can sit on a patio, and you can even form a “social circle” with close family and friends. You can sense a new excitement about these changes.

But what about those of us who can’t return to Normal?

What if your Normal no longer exists? 

As music artists, we make our living touring the country and performing in front of large groups of people. We cross borders, stay in Airbnbs, billet in homes, and pack the pews with as many people as possible. No social distancing. Lots of hugging. Hours of singing and breathing the same air.

As I write this, literally none of these things are allowed. 

None of them.

The very mechanics of how we make our living is banned for now and into the foreseeable future.

There are practical ramifications to this, but it’s more than that. Creating live music and sharing it with communities is what we do! It’s what we’re built for, how we move through this world. It’s our language for sharing God’s light and love.

Yes, we can do some things online, and we’re grateful for that, but we all know, it’s just not the same.

At this point, the arts industry in general isn’t anticipating a return to Normal any time in the near future. When touring and live performances do return, we have no idea how they will look or what changes we may all need to make.

I’m sure we’re not the only group who can’t see a pathway back to Normal yet. 

Let’s be honest, even if you are able to return to your job, 

does it really look or feel like it used to?

Many years ago, I lost someone I loved to suicide. Steve’s death completely turned my world upside-down and inside-out. All I wanted was for life to return to Normal - to laugh and joke with and hug the man I loved. But as I swam through the waves of grief, I came to the realization that a return to Normal was never possible.

Normal, as I had known it, no longer existed. 

From that day on, I realized that I needed to discover a new vision for the future. I was completely unclear as to what that would look like. It took months and even years for it to fully take shape, but letting go of my former view of Normal was the first step. Only then could I start to open my heart to this next chapter that God had prepared for me.

I’ve thought about that journey a lot during this pandemic season. 

Maybe you’ve been through a similar journey yourself.

Normal, as we once knew it, no longer exists.

And trying to hold this past in our hands is as futile as grabbing sand in the wind.

So, I’m Not Seeking Normal anymore.

Instead, with a deep breath, 

I’m trying to open myself to God’s next chapter.

As a planner, I’ve found this season to be incredibly tough. And yet, more times than I can count, I’ve found my anxiety washed away by a peace I can’t fully explain. A peace that passes all human understanding.

I can’t see the path forward at all. 

I have no idea what the future looks like.

The fear and not-knowing can be overwhelming.

But I’ve stumbled down the steps of uncertainty before, 

only to discover sure footing awaiting me.

So now, more than anything, 

I choose to trust the One who created the path.

I trust that He has plans to prosper, and not harm, me. 

I trust His steps are a firm foundation.

And I know that nothing, nothing, can separate me from His love.

I’m Not Seeking Normal.

Instead, I’m lifting this prayer.

I invite you to join me…

Loving God, 

I have no idea what you have prepared for me. 

But I know you are the source of all goodness and love. 

Prepare my heart, mind, and talents for this next chapter. 

If you can’t show me the whole path, just show me the next step. 

And if that step is to simply rest, 

please give me the strength to stay still. 

Amen.