I'm writing this from sunny Ontario. Given the events of the last few weeks, it's sooo good to be home right now! We've had this working vacation planned since December, but even if we hadn't, we probably would have come 'home for a rest' (to quote Spirit of the West).
After the initial shock of the accident, our injuries started to reveal themselves. I sprained the muscles in my neck. Gerald had bruising and a contusion. Given the severity of the accident, we're just grateful to both be alive and in whole, complete bodies. People keep asking me to post photos of the car. They're very graphic and disturbing. It still freaks me out to look at them, so I don't know how comfortable I am having them all over the internet.
We're still both fairly tired, and dealing with a lot emotionally. We are pursuing a lawsuit, so that's taking a certain amount of practical energy. I'm currently carless, and might be a for while. My car was paid for, and we hadn't planned on buying a car for at least 2 or 3 more years. We don't have the money for new (or used) car, so we'll have to wait on a settlement, and so I'm still carless, and we don't know how much money we'll get, so we don't even know what kind of car we'll be able to buy, and ... my brain hurts just thinking about it all. Stress.
I'm finding it really hard to keep up with the practical stuff. I've had a lot of pain with my neck, and I've been really tired. I had to take some time off from the Stamps-Baxter School, but with school being so close, I had to go in a few days to clean up the backlog and train new staff to cover me while I'm away. I was so tired, I couldn't even work a full day. I've also fallen behind on all my booking, planning, and all that 'freelance' stuff. I'm hopelessly behind on email.
Here's the one that hurts the most: We've had to put my hymns CD on hold. We were supposed to do vocals the week of the accident, but with all the pain, especially in my neck, singing just wasn't an option. I've found any kind of rehearsing difficult, so I'm certainly in no position to record anything. The plan is to start again when I get back from this trip, and, hopefully, release the CD in July.
We have 6 gigs booked for this trip, the first one being this Sunday. We haven't had the time or energy to rehearse, so we'll be trying to focus on that for the next 2 days. Luckily, we're performing at a church that knows us well and cares about us, so they let us choose music we already know.
I'm sure I sound tired and cranky, and many days, that's just how I feel. I haven't been sleeping well, I'm nervous about driving, and I have terrible flashbacks.
But I'm also aware of the amazing measure of grace poured on us that day. I feel God's hand on us constantly. We've been surrounded by an overwhelming amount of love and support. We've been prayed for, cared for, and fed til we fell over. I've received emails and facebook messages from friends I haven't seen in years, and industry people who I've only met in the briefest of meetings. If this had happened 2 years ago, when we knew nobody in Nashville, it would have been a very different story.
Tomorrow, Gerald and I are going to find a lovely patio, order a few giant lattes, and enjoy the things we love about Toronto. It's so good to be home!