I've been getting subtle complaints that I haven't written lately. I knew it had been while, but it wasn't til I looked at the date of my last post that I realized just how long it has been.
This month has been a mix of things, and to be honest, I've been on a bit of an internet diet. I've had such a range of stuff going on that, for whatever reason, hitting the internet has become one of my least favourite activities. Gerald will laugh a little at that, because up til this month, I've been pretty internet obsessed. In addition to my blog diet, I've barely gone on Shoutlife or MySpace, and I think my Facebook status says I'm still opening Christmas presents. I have at least a hundred unanswered emails, and that's the only thing I really feel badly about. Really, we all deserve a decent turnaround time on emails.
So why the silence? Well, when we first got back from Canada, I think I just needed a rest from things. December was amazing, but with the gigs and the family stuff and the driving and the everything, I needed some silence, some rest, some regrouping. I spent a significant amount of time working on my New Year's Resolutions. As I wrote for my SoGospel News article, I take New Year's Resolutions very seriously. Gerald and I both see this as a significant time to start things anew. This year, I wrote 2 lists: one for Resolutions and one for Goals. It's probably self-explanatory, but the Resolutions are larger changes I want to make - create an inspiring home, take creative risks, get healthier. The Goals are practical realizations of the Resolutions - paint the living room, record a new CD, walk 3-5 times a week. The lists are fairly long and involved, but they're reflective of a very large and somewhat intimidating reality - we have one year left on our visa.
One official year left on the Dream. We're going to apply for another visa in August, which would give us another 3 years, but even with all that work, a great lawyer, and astronomical fees, there are no guarantees that we'll get another year. It's a little scary, and a little overwhelming. But I'm trying very hard not to get ahead of myself. I'm trying not to think about Plan B. Instead, I'm really trying to focus on making the most of these 12 little months. We've decided to approach this year with the attitude of "this could be our only 12 months left". If that's the case, we don't want to go home with any regrets. We want to record and perform and do everything we can while we're here in Nashville. We're recognizing that we may have to go into some debt to make that happen. Anyone who knows me well will know that this prospect just freaks me out, but I'm willing to cope with that situation if it means doing the thing we want to do in our (possibly) short time here. I'm thinking of it as "noble debt", and I'm also trusting God wholly and completely with our finances. If He wants us recording and touring and making the most of this opportunity He's given us, then He's also going to need to open some doors for us financially. I'm contacting everyone I know who has a church and saying, "You know how you said you'd like me to come and sing for you some time? Well, my time is getting shorter. When can I come?"
I know it may sound dramatic, but we are limited in our time here, and it's making us hungry. Not literally (we hope :) but hungry and passionate to pursue our dreams and follow this path with commitment and focus.
It's "Live Like You Were Dying" rewritten as "Live Like You Might Be Moving".
That said, it's been a very emotional month as I'm putting these plans together in my heart and in my mind. I'm trying to be very balanced in terms of creative time and practical time and family time and friend time. I'm studying and writing and singing on an almost daily basis (It's harder to do it all on days when I work 8 hours in the office. This is why people with full-time jobs have trouble making time for art. Quit your jobs, people!)
So what does today look like? This morning, I'm writing and singing. Gerald is doing the same. We painted the living room a bright, warm country yellow on the weekend, so today I'm going to finish putting the room back together. It's already a much more inspiring place to be! Last Sunday, Gerald and I sang on the Redeemer praise team together, and we had an awesome time. This Sunday, we're singing at Calvary Baptist here in Nashville, so we have some rehearsing to do for that. This evening, Gerald will meet up with his songwriting mentor to continue on their plans for demoing Gerald's songs next month. I'll spend that time sipping hot chocolate, hopefully with a friend. Tonight, we'll find something to do together - well, I say that not knowing if there's a basketball game on...